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emotions
my name is cederian i think i may sick because im the only guy i know that has mood swings and my girlfriend mariah just tell me that its normal but i need a second opinion to give you insight as to whats been happining to well i was happy lik two hourrs ago and i just started to cry and i remember thinking am i dying whats wrong with me i felt like i wanted to die ive never been this depressed i kept telling myself what do you have to live for then i realized i was only 16/m why was i thinking like that then mariah tried to help me feel better but it did'nt help i thought i would just go lie down and i would feel better some how then it happened i sat up and looked in my mirror and said to myself you dont deserve to live and my big brother always makes me feel like crap ill just be sitting down in the sun room and hell just come up to me and call me a fag and how in the hell can i be a fag if i have a girl friend and my dad does'nt approve of anything i do nothing i do makes him happy he just sits there and judges me he'll just say you're an idiot but i makes straight a.s in school i play football i play soccer and baseball he's never been to anyone of my games butyou know the worst thing he ever said to me was that it was a mistake for me to be born and he wished my mom would had an abortion and that he hated me then the next day he acted as though nothing had happened but my mom,grandma and mariah are the only people who love me but are they enough reason for me to stay alive i like eight months tried to kill myself because the dispair had gotten to a point where i just could'nt take it anymore i need help what wrong with me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
There's nothing wrong with you...it's human nature, especially after such things were said to you. You're a smart, active guy and those people who fail to see it aren't much worth any worry.
Keep holding on to the people who make you happy, and pay no mind to those who make you sad and feel insignificant. They're wrong to think so and to act on it, and they're only hurting your confidence.
Don't listen to 'em. =)
Oh, and by the way, I think every older brother does that, so try to ignore him.
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i think you should relay and focus just on the people who really care about you like your mom and mariah, aslo please rememebr that this kind of situation also can affect your relationship with her cause belive me its not easy to have aboyfriend whos constantly feeling down, and depressed , its very exausting and might be a reason to brake up, about the suicidal things, i think you should just understand that you should not depend on anyonme to be happy but yourself , as long as you have good friends and a girlfriend or your mom or anyone there to support you , then the people who makes you feel down like your dad doens't deserve your attention, theres a reason why people like mariah likes you, and its enough to make her want to support you , you shouldn't care about this things cause you don't need to prove anything to anyone, just yourself. its not good to depend on the acceptance of people to be happy , rememebr we cannot get along with anyone , i know its hard that this person you just dont get along its your dad, but remember he¿'s not the only member of your family, also remember he expects other things from you, cause a father's love its condicial,(like i love you cause your like me and im proud your my son) meanwhile a mothers love is unconditional on most cases, and also think about it mariah has reasons enough to love you eventhough its exausting to treat with a depressive person, then it means there's somehting really good about you and just because someone doens't appreciate ito like your father it doesn't mean your gonna let those people who care about you down by suciding or something, you need to learn that you can only find happyness until you find it with yourself, then you can love others.
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