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Where did it all go wrong when it seemed so right?
19/f. Sorry this'll be long.
So there's this guy I met a few weeks ago. We've stayed up several times in the past two weeks just talking for hours. We got close about a week ago, just cuddling and stuff but it wasn't until last night when things started happening. We were both drunk and cuddling etc all night. Finally we got some time alone and went back to my room in my dorm. We started kissing (I've wanted to for so long!) and afterwards I told him he was a great kisser. Well, his response to that was very unexpected. He said "it wasn't as good as it could've been" Wow. Major blow. I asked him what he meant and he said he thought it could've been a lot better and he'd imagined it differently. Said he compared me to this one another girl he'd once kissed (I'm only the 3rd person) Of course I got upset and that was the end of it. He left and I went to bed. This morning he came into my room and started speaking to me about it, saying I was right when I suggested he was still hung over the girl, he just hadn't realized it till last night. He didn't apologize for what he said until I mentioned I thought he was coming in to apologize. Last thing he said before I went to class was basically reiterating what he said when drunk: "it was good, but not as good as it could've been" So sadly, it wasn't just him being drunk and saying things he didn't mean. He asked me to wait just a week till he "sorts himself out" but that he really does care about me and seems to think *I'm* not ready to be in a relationship with him. I might add, it was always him making the moves on me. Everyone says he goes on about me all the time and he did say he liked me.
I don't know what to do. I do really like him, but I have no idea why he said what he did. It hurt me so badly. I'm not sure whether to bother "waiting" for him or what because I'm not sure he deserves it. So.. what do you think I should do basically? Everyone reckons he has a lot of apologizing and explaining to do and I shouldn't speak to him until he does. I just don't know where everything went wrong. Last night everyone kept asking us if we were together and he'd smile and say "I hope so" and then this happened. So yeah..what should I do about him and why did he say what he did? I don't get it. Thanks for reading.
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Just ignore him hun. Be friendly, but don't obsess and don't wait.
This guy has proven himself both insensitive and inconsistent. He has no idea what he wants, and you shouldn't jump on his emotional rollercoaster with him because I promise you, it’s gonna take more then a week for him to end the drama fest.
Yes, it's good to be honest, but honesty should always been tempered with sensitivity and respect. He was disrespectful and insensitive to you. Even if he turns around and decides he DOES really like you, do you want to be with someone who interacts with other people that way?
You haven’t known him very long. You have time to get to know him better if you want too, but speaking as a girl who is just a few years older, I hope you’ll seriously consider these two comments:
This guy has a bit more maturing to do before anything more then make-out moments should be considered with him. He is too self-absorbed for a stable relationship. If that is what you are looking for now, he probably can’t deliver.
It sets off a real alarm bell in my head that he thinks YOU aren’t ready to be with him. What I hear from that is this: “Oh shit, this girl isn’t insecure or desperate enough to just love me anyways. She really expects me to apologize when I make a mistake! Shit...”
Stick to your guns and too your self respect. If you can keep those and keep your crush on him, fine, but if you have to choose between them, go with the self respect!
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Why would you want to date someone who is hooked on somebody else?? I think even mentioning her after you guys kissed shows he was thinking about her & that isn't a good thing. He should've been thinking about you. You might want to give him a break. It wouldn't make sense for you to be hooked on this guy who currently has feelings for someone else. Last night could've been a one time thing, especially since he never appologized the next day even. You can talk to him about it, but I think you should be very stern & not give in easily. You have to sort out your feelings & see if he's worth it or not. It was really rude & you have to see if you would want to date him. If he hurt you this badly and you aren't even dating, what can you expect in a relationship with him?? I'm not saying he's a bad guy. Just showing you some possible options. It really is your decision & you have to sort things out. Talk to him or ask your friends for advice. They know him better than any of us on advicenators. You wouldn't want a relationship with someone that is concerned about other girls.
-hope that helped!♥
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