Question Posted Wednesday October 10 2007, 2:35 am
17/f. I have been with my boyfriend now for about 2 months or more. We have both been a little down lately and had a talk the other night about how we are both concerened that 90% of our relationship is based on sex. For example; we have had sex on a number of occasions up to ten times in one day, we have sex pretty much anywhere, in public, or in private, you name it. It's really great and all but he says we need to stop having sex all the time because it may wreck what we have and he really wants to experience our relationship on a deeper level. So I asked what he suggested we should do. And he said maybe we need to start doing more things together as a couple. So yesterday we decided to rent out a couple of movies and have some chips and candy etc. and have a good time. Anyway it went pretty well but we still had sex two or three times throughtout the day.
Can someone please help or suggest some ideas or what we should do or what we could do instead as a couple.
Thankyou.
When goals are vague and nonspecific, you never achieve them. When goals are specific and definate, it's much easier to make them work.
Your goal of having less sex and doing more things togeather is VAGUE. Try some specifics:
We will not have sex for the next 5 days.
We will not have sex untill we have hung out twice without having sex.
Each month we will do one thing togeather that we have never done before.
Go on a picnic, bake a cake, see a play or a dance or an opera, go to a bingo hall, to a haunted house, join a club or volunteer togeather, just take a walk around a park, play a boardgame.
Taking shorter, more active dates will make it easier to avoid sex, and you SHOULD make a firm goal about sex, or you will simply fall back into the old pattern.
You are very, very right about the threat constant sex has to any real connection. Many people, espcailly teens who are just discovering sex, forget how to enjoy eachother as people not just as sexual beings. [ Razhie's advice column | Ask Razhie A Question ]
classified_cutie answered Wednesday October 10 2007, 7:16 pm: First just try not getting into anything really sexual like sex movies .. you should go out with friends,shopping together or wuteva.Dont spend to much time together if yall have sex that much; then you both need to lack sum togethness time.Spend sum time on the fone and go walking outside once in a while.try to keep yourselves occupied with positive things that dont deal with sex [ classified_cutie's advice column | Ask classified_cutie A Question ]
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