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Does he really mean it?
This is reallllly long, I'm sorry!!
To start off, my last relationship (also my first) was horrible. I don't know what I was thinking. I went to camp with him, we kind of sort of shyly talked and I liked him, he asked me out and I said yes. We hung out 3 times in a span of 2 months and he smoked in front of me (after I told him I hate it) and just used me... and cheated on me with at LEAST 4 girls. Those are just the ones I know about. I don't care about him at all anymore, I never think about him, we didn't talk before so we still don't now.
So my point is that that relationship kind of left a mark and now I have some of the same fears. I am now in a relationship with a boy who was one of my best friends. We both kind of admired each other from afar before we met, then when we did we liked each other's personalities too and realized we liked each other. And, lucky us, we had a mutual friend and eventually it was like our 2 groups of friends merged and now we are an inseparable pack. haha. So after a year or so of liking each other he finally asked me out (he was so shy. He had actually been in a relationship with one of my "friends" who no one really likes. And they didn't talk the WHOLE time. It was pointless. And my friend KNEW I liked him and still asked HIM out! And he was desperate I guess, and that mutual friend from before convinced him to do it.) Other than this though he was so shy and I didn't think he even liked girls yet, haha.
Everyone thought us going out would be awkward since he used to be so shy with girls. But after a few days of a nothing-changed-still-good-friends relationship, we started treating each other like more than friends. And we have been great ever since (It has been about 4 1/2 months).
Sorry for such a long prelude, but it does take a while to understand.
Anyway, he is so good to me. And having had that horrible relationship before, I feel like I am not being grateful enough for what he does for me because I am always a little skeptical.
I am a very jealous person, but I don't like anyone to know that, so I try to keep it hidden. He doesn't really talk to many other girls except my best friends which is fine. But there is one girl I always thought liked him and I thought he used to like her, and sometimes I still worry about it. He has dealt with me asking about her and worrying and annoying him about her multiple times and he is still okay with it. He says she is too difficult to talk to and doesn't have anything important to say so he could never like her anyway. He teases her, but most of the time it is her that initiates talking to him. I know that's how boys flirt so I asked him about it. He said that that isn't how he flirts. At first I didn't believe him, but then he told me how he just teases everyone else and when he was "flirting" with me he never did. And it's true, he never really did tease me. But does that make sense? Is he just the guy who flirts differently or is he saying that?
Anyway, a while ago my friends who were going out broke up. My boyfriend said something like "well I can see where James (the guy who broke up with the girl) is coming from. I mean we are sophomores in high school. We can't expect to last forever. Like right now I see no reason for us to break up at all, but I don't think it will last forever"
Well, it hurt but I knew I shouldn't be naive and expect us to be together forever since we are so young.
After a while we were talking and I told him that I made 11:11 wishes that he would always love me. And he said he would love me forever. I want to believe him because it is such a sense of security knowing that he won't be gone tomorrow, but what he said before holds me back.
He says I make him happy and that before I was with him he was just okay, never actually happy. The way he describes it, like I compliment him and he has fun hanging out with me, sounds half like maybe I am just an ego boost. I don't know.
Also, he told me the other day that he doesn't think of me as a girlfriend. "We treat each other like boyfriend and girlfriend, but I just always think of you as more like my best friend. I guess it just never hit me. I know you are my girlfriend but it takes me a while to realize it sometimes." He's not stupid, don't worry. I just wonder if that is a good thing?
I feel like I am forgetting something I wanted to ask. But I just feel like I need someone's input on this. I have no problems with him but these things just stay in the back of my mind and I think about them too much.
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i think he does really like you, but you only included the iffy things he said, maybe if you included examples of the lovey things he says i might be able to get a better idea.
but one of my ex's, before we broke, started saying things like we wouldnt last forever, and i love you like a best friend its weird that your my girlfriend.
and thats usually a bad thing, but it can also be good, if he thinks of you as a best friend AND a girlfriend, thats a really good thing.
i totally know how you feel because i also think about little things guys say way too much, but the thing is, their guys.
guys are about the over all picture, not the little details of what they say, when he makes little remarks like that, he either doesnt realize that it means something, or is just subconsiosly saying things.
either way, he does seem to care, so if you ever did break up, youd probably be great as best friends, but i doubt that will happen very soon, because he totally seems into you.
so dont worry about it too much, because worrying is a serious downfall in most realtionships.
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he just a guy that flirts differently i flirt that way to because i dont like teasing girls that i like because that could make them mad and not like you. its a good thing to think that you are his best friend because that means its easy to talk to you and you like that dont you?
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