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For all you high-school-age columnists
I am writing a movie script, which should be in production next year, and I need advice for a few of my teenage characters. It's been a few years since I have been a girl in high school and, although things were hard back then, I can only imagine the abundance of peer pressure you guys face these days. I want these characters to portray real life feelings. Say real life words that teenagers say. And react the way kids react in certain situations. By using your own or someone else's experiences I would appreciate advice on how girls and boys would act or respond if faced with situations such as:
GIRLS:
A girl and her boyfriend had sex for the first time then he breaks up with her a few days later. What would she feel or do? Would she consider doing something desperate? Is it no big deal? What reason would the boy give for breaking up with her?
Would a girl ever lie to her friends about being sexually active when really she's a virgin? If so, why is being a virgin so terrible to admit?
If a sexually active girl had an opportunity to go back in time and say no to sex, would she? Why, what would she have realized?
BOYS:
Do guys have any regrets about sleeping with a girl? What are they? Be honest.
What are some good lines a guy would say to have a girl say yes to sex?
And I really hope someone out there can advise me on this one...Are there guys who choose to refrain from having sex until they get married? Not because they can't get a girl, but simply because they choose to save themselves for their wife?
Thanks in advance.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
for the boys question...my regrets sleeping with a girl would be getting a disease, getting her pegnant, and not wanting to get the girl attatched to him and having to tell the girl he doesnt like her.
yes about 2 out of 10 guys choose nont to have sex
tell me how ur play goes.
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1) Girls I know tend to feel more emotionally attached to guys they sleep with, and it's way harder for them to move on and let go, especially if they lost their virginity to said guy. So she might feel something like depression, betrayal, self-pity, angst...it's different for different girls. It depends on how attached the girl really is to the guy that broke up with her.
2) I know I tell my friends everything, if I was no longer a virgin then they would be the first to know. A girls friends...closest friends know a lot about her.
3) It depends on the situation, some girls lose their virginity to guys they loved and wouldn't take it back for the world. Some girls lose their virginty to guys they thought they wanted to be their first, but they didn't love. Those girls usually end up regretting it when the find someone they truly love.
I hope this helped.
::Jasmine::
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Hello! I will try my best to answer the girls part:
"A girl and her boyfriend had sex for the first time then he breaks up with her a few days later. What would she feel or do? Would she consider doing something desperate? Is it no big deal? What reason would the boy give for breaking up with her?"
Well, this could go either way. Most girls I know woulld cry over it and act like any other breakup, only more emotional.
OR they would try to get revenge on him, bad mouth him, and spread roumors about him.
I personally would (not be having sex) but to put myself somehow in that situation, I'd be the first girl. It would hurt, bad. Crying, and asking, "Am I not good enough?" or "Was he jsut using me?"
I wouldn't consider doing anything desperate, but I might look for somebody to comofrt me. Maybe a different guy who I know will not use me or do the same thing to me.
The boy might give something like, "We moved too fast." or "I would just rather be friends with you right now."
"Would a girl ever lie to her friends about being sexually active when really she's a virgin? If so, why is being a virgin so terrible to admit?"
Yes. I know a lot of girls in my school lie about this. I personally don't, and I think it's fine to be a virgin. Why do people think it's so terrible? Well, at my high school, they think it's "cool" to be having sex. They think you're "prude" if you're not giving blowjobs every weekend. Girls think they have to put themselves out there to be accepted. But that's the total opposite of how I feel. There aren't too many girls like me at my high school, but there are a few.
"If a sexually active girl had an opportunity to go back in time and say no to sex, would she? Why, what would she have realized?"
Most likely. It depends on the situation. Anything like the first scenario youu gave above, I'd think the girl would want to go back and not have sex. She'd realize it didn't bring her and the guy any closer. It didn't make her any "cooler" or more "popular". It juse messed her up. It just emotionally wrecked her. She's realize sex just wasn't a physical thing, but an emotional thing as well and there's a lot more to it than just the guy and her.
Hope this helps && Best of luck =]
-Laura. (15-f)
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First of all, most teenagers (myself included) tense up when we hear the words "peer pressure". We like to pretend we are making mature adult decisions because we want to, even when it's obvious we are totally out of control. Now, to answer your questions:
PART ONE:If I had sex with my boyfriend and he broke up with me a few days later I would be mad, hurt and confused. It would be a huge deal. If someone had sex with me and then dumped me, I would feel worthless, confused, supid and naieve. I would probably tell my best friend about it and probably even my mom. I really like hearing what other people have to say about my problems. I like getting advice, because it's uplifting to hear people tell you what you deserve. Most of the people close to me actually really care about me and want me to do what's best for me. Just knowing that cheers me up. I would also definately write about my feelings. I'm big on blogging and I love finding creative ways of expressing my emotions. I'd probably write songs, poetry and prose. I would also read blog entries from Jacob Hoggard (my favourite blog author: www.aheartbreakingwork.blogspot.com), because he's even better at expressing how I feel than I am. I would listen to all the sad music I could get my hands on and mope around, crying. Eventually (after a couple of days), I would confront my exboyfriend, telling him how much he hurt me and how I just couldn't believe he didn't care about me. The guy would probably say he felt scared, or trapped by the closeness of the relationship. He would then probably tell me he still liked me (having second thoughts) and try to get close to me again. Either that or he would have dumped me for another girl and wouldn't care about what I had to say. As far as doing something desperate goes, I would probably get back with my ex if he wanted to and showed an interest in me, if that counts as desperate. I would probably also talk to a councellor. I have done that before when I really needed help, and getting dumped right after having sex for the first time would be extremely traumatic.
PART TWO: I would never lie about being sexually active when I'm a virgin, but I could see myself just casually not saying anything or letting people think what they want to think. Girls who get around are often deemed more knowledgeable about the way things really are. Sometimes it feels embarassing to admit that I'm waiting for someone special before I have sex, because no one values it when girls want true love or marrige, etc. Girls are expected to find sex fun and not to want anything serious. It's sometimes scary to admit that I want more than just cheap sex because most other people who feel like me don't voice thier opinions either.
PART THREE: I doubt a sexually active girl would regret having sex. If I had sex and it changed my opinions, I wouldn't kick myself for having not felt the same way before. As long as I always tried to do what was best for myself, I'd be happy with any decision I made. Sure, maybe I would think I had been misguided in having sex in the first place. But I wouldn't re-do any of my decisions.
I know I talked a lot, but I figured you wanted detailled answers. Good luck writing your script!
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