|
I Feel Helpless...What Can I Do??
My husband and sister-in-law have the weirdest relationship. they are really affectionate with each other, like REALLY! they are always hugging and kissing each other. and like he'll jump on top of her on the couch to give her a big bear hug, and things like that. at first it just bugged me a bit, but yesterday it just went to far. we had dinner at his parents house, and we were having dessert. and we all finished our desserts, and there was one left. my husband went to take the last one, and came and sat on the couch next to me. my sister-in-law sat in his lap, and what does he do? he starts feeding her from his dessert! :S and shes acting like a child, and saying things like no no i don't want that piece i want THAAAT piece. and it was like i wasn't even there. what kind of husband feeds his sister before his wife? ya and then after they finished like half the dessert he puts some on his fork (which he fed his sister with) and asks me do u want some? i disgustedly told him no. and i don't know how to explain to him that his relationship with his sister grosses me out and kinda creeps me out as well. by the way his sister is my age, 21, and hes 29. its just this weird absurd relationship between the two of them. and shes acting like a child, and the way he treats her i feel should be the way i am treated. not the way he should be treating his sister.
what am i supposed to do?
his sister is getting married soon so i feel like instead of offending him.. i'll just ignore it and deal with it until she gets married and leaves in may.
i really need advice, because everytime i go over to his parents house i end up getting pissed off and annoyed and disgusted.
HEEEEELP!!!
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You are right to be offended by their behavior. The problem is that even if she leaves in May, you are still stuck with him...sounds harse I know, but is this the man you really want? If this is the ONLY weird thing about him, then ignore me. If it is not and you are starting to see other things, then I would leave. I don't think his behavior is the sign of a healthy and mature man or that it was in any way acceptable. At the very least, he is self-involved and does not consider your feelings in general. Men don't change, so before you go having four kids with him, think about how you want to be treated for the next seventy years.
]
I agree with the previous advice. His behavior and his sister's is just plain old weird, ridiculous and kinda creepy.
Perhaps they're stuck in a twilight zone of their youth. He is eight years older than her, after all, so he may have babied her when they were younger. They may just be stuck in an old pattern. Strange as hell, but old and perhaps normal for them.
Still, tell him how you feel. I suggest writing it all out first, to organize your thoughts and points, THEN talking to him. Good luck.
]
Look, you need to sit down with him and make him listen to your feelings. Put it ALL out on the table. Tell him just like you told us. Feel free to add whatever else you may be feeling about the issue, considering you likely feel more than just the few words you stated above.
So what if he gets offended? His behavior is not OK, and he needs to hear that from you.
He needs to LISTEN and not just laugh it off. If he is making it a joke, then he is making your FEELINGS a joke, which he needs to realize is unacceptable.
He needs to respect your feelings and try to be understanding instead of just brushing you off about it, just as you need to do for him when his feelings are of concern.
You have to be able to tell him how you feel and vise-versa. You need BOTH find a solution to the problem. Together. Marriage is not a one-way street, so both of you need to solve problems together.
Otherwise, you it's going to be an awfully long life together.
ygs-29/f
P.S. Just so you know, you aren't alone in thinking this is gross and creepy behavior. It sounds as though he is treating his sister like a girlfriend. That's just obscene...
]
More Questions: |