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I want so much to trust him.
Okay
My boyfriend cheated on me a while ago after we had been together for over a year.
It killed me to know that i had put my whole self into that relationship and he just couldn't be loyal.
We kept talking, don't ask me why, and i watched what i thought was him changing, and maturing.
So i took him back, and we've been together again now for about 2 months.
I love him with all i've got, and i want to make this work more than anything.
But i just can't trust him.
I get jealous when he's around other girls, and i get paranoid when he's out with friends, (some being girls) and i'm not there.
I don't want to be that annoying, obsessive, scary girlfriend, but i can't help it. The pattern is starting to repeat. He's acting like he did when he was cheating the first time.
I don't know if it's just me being paranoid, but i just can't find a way to trust him. No matter how much i want to. I don't know how to talk to him, because for some reason, IM scared of breaking HIS heart. And i don't know where to go from here...
Sorry if this is too vague,
Any advice would be amazing.
Thanks<333
(16/f btw)
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You are 16 & should not put that much energy/stress into such a meaningless relationship which will go nowhere without trust. If you can't trust him, the relationship is not going to last. You might as well move on & consume your time with someone you can actually trust & don't need to be worried about. Simple as that.
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I can understand you being paranoid because there simply is no excuse for what your boyfriend did to you. I have cheated [once] & been cheated on, so I know exactly how you feel on both ends.
Paranoia is a very common thing after someone cheats or lies to you. You begin to think that they're doing it all the time & you just don't know about it. You panic, you worry, you get obsessive, scary, even clingy. You also become demanding & awkward. Honestly, it's normal for you to be this way.
Your boyfriend cheated on you & broke your heart & what he did is inexcusable. He's lucky that you gave him a second chance because you honestly could've told him to go fuck himself. Really though, you need to sit down & have a talk with him. The thing that confuses me though; why in the hell should you be scared to break his heart? Think about it. Was he scared to break your's? Did he even consider how you'd feel when you found out, did he even think about you when he did it? Break his heart, stomp on it if you have to. He did it to you & he wasn't scared to, so why should you be?
Just talk to him & tell him how you feel. If you break his heart, so what? He needs to hear this & know what he did & how you feel. If you don't tell him, you're going to create more problems within yourself & you're going to be miserable forever. So I suggest you spill your heart out.
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Before you can trust him again you have to let yourself forgive him. I know what he did hurt you and that it's hard to forget, but if you want this relationship to work out then that's what you have to do. You have to forget what happened, move on, and truly forgive him. You have to put your faith in him, even though it may be hard. If and whe he proves he can be faithful it'll get easier.
::Jasmine::
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