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humorist-workshop
rules of cheating??
14/f
i have a question on the rules of cheating.
okay well i had this boyfriend and we had gotten into a fight because he was playing witha girls hair and hands infront of me. i asked him why he did that and he gave me the "rules". he said what he did was being "friendly", kissing is "innocent" flirting and sex is the only thing considered to be cheating. i told him that those rules only apply to him. i told him what he did was flirting (innocent i don't know intentional? yes).kissing is where the cheating starts and the only he got right was that sex was cheating too. would you agree with me or not and why.
please and thank you! =]]
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What is to be considered cheating is all up to the other person. What you consider cheating is up to you. There are rules of cheating.
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He's wayyy off base. To me, cheating is anything that you wouldn't tell your significant other about. If you're e-mailing a guy behind his back and you don't want him to know, that's cheating. It's a guilt thing more than your actual actions. If you can tell him about it, it's not. You don't have to tell him, but as long as you're not hiding it from him it's fine.
Now to your particular situation. He's doing this crap right in front of you. At least he's being honest, but seriously. He says he's being friendly. He's DEFINITELY flirting. Ask him if he would play with a guy's hair or hands. His answer is obviously going to be no. That's how you can distinguish flirting from cheating. If he's just being friendly, he could do it with anyone. Make sure he realizes that yeah, he is flirting. Let him know that it's okay for him to flirt with other girls through innocent comments, but that touching them in any way really draws the line for you. On to the next part. How is kissing not cheating? Everybody thinks kissing is cheating. That right there tells me that this guy is bad news. The fact that he said that to you makes it almost a sure thing that he's going to be kissing other girls while he's with you. I give him a lot of credit for being honest, but you don't want to be with this type of person. Either set him straight or drop him right away. This guy is completely ridiculous.
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woah what moron says kissing isn't cheating!? does he come from some polygamist family where they can have more than one wife? i'd get mad if he was flirting let alone kissing. we flirt to get the attention of the opposite or same sex in some cases so that we can start a loving relationship with them. flirting isn't as simple as having a conversation, people get emotionally attached when flirting starts. being friendly is holding the door for someone and talking to them not playing with their hair and not playing with their hands. thats rediculous, this guy is a jerk.
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Right.
Cheating is cheating. simple as.
I class cheating as being unfaithfl in any form.
you decide out of the below what YOU would class as cheating:
Texting suggestive messages to eachother, or in email form , myspace comments or whatever...
Seeing another person behind one's back (especially if guilt striken)
Heavy flirting
Holding hands
Kissing on the lips (and KNOWING it means something)
Making out
Groping ( of gentitals or breats), touching, or...uh."USE" of sexual organs, including foreplay, oral sex, intercourse.
As you can see the last section is the worst kind of cheating.
Things like going out AS JUST FRIENDS, staring at a "hot" girl, hugging, kissing on the cheek, friendly texts and messing about implying inuendo may not amuse you, and youll probably pretty much hate it..but it doesnt class as cheating.
However, there IS huge difference between innocence and intentional.
You may think its intentional when its innocent or vice versa.
you need to tell him what YOU think is cheating and ask him if he agrees. If he doesnt, ask him why.
Kising is worse than flirting, so i dont know wht he was on about there!
The hair thing would tick me right off..and the hands would probably cause me not to talk to him. However, i consider myself fairly jealous because im insecure over things such as this.
I'm Not sure if youre the same but you do seem concerned.
Personally, i would agree with you. kissing is cheating. it only gets worse from there.
you may be young, but it's best to educate him about the REAL RULES of cheating before he gets older, and where cheating could become far more serious.
I hope this helped!
Good Luck and take care
Alex.
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