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I feel like a bad person.


Question Posted Monday September 3 2007, 1:01 pm

16/f. So this guy and I like each other. But about 3 weeks ago, he broke up with his girlfriend of a year and a half because she cheated. But I'm friends with her and she's still in love with him. Therefore, I feel like a terrible friend. I mean, I would horrible if someone I still loved was going out with one of my friends, and I really don't want to hurt my friend like that. I don't know what to do. This guy and I want to get to know each other better of course, so we're not gonna go out or anything right away, but I still feel bad. And sometimes I wonder why he likes me... I mean, they went out for so long and just broke up, but now he likes me? I would think he would need some time to get over her. I mean, we get along really well and stuff and have alot in common and whatever, so it's not like it's weird that he likes me, but so soon? Idk what to do, I'm caught in the middle of all of this and it makes me feel like a jerk; I don't want anyone getting hurt. Like, I want to go out with him eventually but his ex and all of her friends, who are also my friends, will probably be so pissed at me. But if I just didn't bother giving it a chance and going out with him, I'll probably miss out on something great and regret it. =( What should I do? Thanks for taking the time to read this.

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Roxy07 answered Monday September 3 2007, 10:58 pm:
Ok, First of all he could have liked you for quiet sometime and now that your friend cheated on him this is his way of getting out of their relationship with no questions asked.

Second.. If your friend loves him, she wouldn't have done what she did. There is no reason for cheating on someone at all. It only ends up in a huge mess, lots of tears and a broken heart. She can't have her cake and eat it too!!

Third, this guy could just be in the need for comfort at this stage and obviously he's chosen you to comfort him. Or he could just really like you.

I wouldn't be like throwing yourself at him now he's a single man.. Just for the time being be there for him. Don't come on too strong, a little flirting should be ok so he gets the idea but just take it easy. Make sure that this is really what you want.

There's two sides to every story so there could be a reason your friend cheated on him. Some girls find it hard to get out of a demanding relationship and that could be why your friend cheated. So she had a way out. Although she still 'loves' him.. She was with him for quiet some time!

When and if you decide to take your relationship further with this guy perhaps sit your friend down to tell her. Don't let your other friends get involved until you two have sorted things out! Things will get ugly and you don't want to loose all your friends and then decide that he wasn't worth it all anyway!

Just be careful, think it through and you will know what you want! Don't let anyone choose for you. Things like this can't be helped! Tell your friend to put herself in your situation!

Just don't be rude about it k babe?!

Good luck.. Hope everything works out for the best! :)

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HeyyyEdith answered Monday September 3 2007, 10:50 pm:
If she really loves him like she says she does, she wouldn't have cheated on him. It seems like when she had him she didn't want him, and now that she doesn't she does. It's not your fault that they broke up, you and him should continue to get to know each other, but keep quiet about it for awhile, so that the drama isn't as bad when you two decide to tell people. You will have friends who side with her and some who side with you, but you have to tell them, that it's fair, she was the one who had him at one point and cheated. And as for him moving on quickly, as long as he seems genuinely interested in you, you should trust him. Good Luck.
=]

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