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my bestfriends dad cheats....
This is a pretty big problem for me, I'd love to hear some different takes on it since I can't speak to any of my friends about it. I changed the names...
I know for a fact that my best guy friend(Drew)'s dad is cheating on his wife. His "girlfriend" happens to be my best girl friend(Laura)'s Aunt, that's how I know about the situation (she told only me about it). To complicate things more, Drew and Laura used to go out a couple years ago, Laura knew about the affair and didn't tell Drew.
I have a lot of trouble with all of this, because my father had an affair, and when I found out, i had reason to believe my ex boyfriend knew about it and was so upset and hurt to think that he would keep something like that from me.
I don't think it's my place to say anything, but if Drew finds out, he'll KNOW Laura knew all along (I mean this affair has been going on maybe 10 years, maybe more....)
and with her knowing, he'll ask me if I knew... could I lie about that?
anyways, morals are hard to figure out I'd love some imput.
thanks, much love.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Now you know the position that your ex-boyfriend was in and why he wanted to spare your feelings, and how it is often that people want to blame the "messenger" of bad news...Okay, everyone knows but the wife, or at least that is the assumption. The wife may have more knowledge than you know, or may have affairs herself. None of it makes a difference, because none of it is your business. Sometimes doing what is right is not what feels right. This information you found out was gossip and not either one of your businesses really. You are afraid that you are somehow to blame for continuing the secrecy and lie. You are not continuing the affair...they are. It is not your job to inform people of their personal marital problems, or to even pass judgement on the ones having the affair. NO, I don't condone affairs, cheating lies, etc...but, we don't know everything and every marriage is between the individuals in that contract. Telling someone that their spouse is a jerk is usually not a revelation or appreciated. If you really just have to tell the wife, don't be suprised when she questions your motives for telling her. Your character will be called into question. Stay out of Drew and Laura's relationship, too. Laura seems to put a lot of burdens on you by giving you too much information about stuff she should probably not, since you are uncomfortable with having it. You need to ask your friend to stop or it will ruin your friendship with her. Who do you feel most loyal to? Remember that the "truth" is subjective, so be careful whom you sacrifice in the name of the "truth."
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WOW totally not your business!!
Tell him nothing. If he does find out I doubt he would even ask you if you knew. The reason I say this is its somebody else's aunt. He may ask the girl. You cant be upset about an affair. Yea, understand that you went threw it, but it was never your fault. You didnt make any of them do a damn thing. They are grown. So just live life.
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MYOB.
Do not get involved in their family business PERIOD! If you get involved here you'll find that you have no friends left. It's for Drew to find out on his own and not through you.
His mother is likely not stupid here and knows by now what is going on if it's been happening for 10 years. There might even be a deal where it's an open marraige or perhaps not.
Bottom line it's not your place to say anything or get involved. It's their private business and you'll have everyone hating you should you open your mouth.
You aren't lying about the situation anyways. You just aren't divulging what you have heard. If he ever did ask if you knew anything tell him the truth then and that you thought he already knew or would have learned of it from his family.
Tell him you thought it was best coming from them and were under the impression he knew or this girl would eventually tell him. Deal with that if/when it occurs. odds are he'd never think you knew as it's private family business.
Just tell him the truth that it's not your business and as an outsider you didn't think it was right to say anything. Deal with that if it comes to it later on. For now keep your mouth shut.
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