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This may sound weird, but I'm being as serious as possible.
This is going to be a little bit confusing to explain, but I will try.
I have been reading a book on drug addictions, and it got me to thinking about regular addictions, such as caffeine, cutting, or even dancing. It's possible to become addicted to anything right?
Well I lost my boyfriend about 8 months ago. He & I had been together for 2 years & we were happy, but he randomly broke up with me in the worse possible way. After the first month of our breakup, we ran into eachother & had sex. I've always wanted him back & I still want him back, so everytime he wants to have sex, I've allowed it. & Not just allowed, but I've wanted it too.
I've tried moving on from him, dating other guys, having sex with other guys, but I always seem to want him. No matter what. He's always in the back of my mind.
So is it possible, that I could be addicted to a person, or to their sex? And if it is possible, how do you break the addiction, even though I don't think I want to break the addiction, because I like having that closeness with him.
I guess I just need some feedback.
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
Well I suggest that for now if sex with him makes you feel better fine but you're just makin it harder and harder to pull away from him by having sex with him when ever....even tho this might sound sleezy,maybe you should try having sex with a close friend very very often....maybe that will get your mind off of him...and try geting some one on one counseling that might help too....and most important pray to the father and the son...because jesus heals all pain and he loves you more than you believe....call out for him mind,heart,and spirit and he shall respond....I promise...I hope my advice helps you on your path to breaking the addiction....god loves you,jesus loves you,and even tho I don't kno you....I love you and really want to see you make it thru this tough time in your life....godbless you.....your new friend/advicer......jamie
P.s.....if you need a friend to vent your problems to just search for my yahoo on my page....godbless and I wish you the best of luck......jamie :)
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My opinion...
I think addiction is a strong word. A strong word that doesn't apply to you.
More likely... You still care for your ex and you're having a hard time getting over him and moving on with your life.
And as harsh as I know I sound... My advice... MOVE ON.
Why? Because... He's 'just not into you.' If he was... He wouldn't have dumped you. Just because he wants to have sex with you doesn't mean that you will, or that he even wants, to get back together. He's using you. If he wasn't... Wouldn't it be just as easy to tell you that he's sorry and that he wants you back?
I know that moving on is hard... But the both of you are making the whole process a lot more difficult than it has to be. When you break up with someone... Stop hanging out, stop talking, make a CLEAN BREAK! I understand that you will miss him... But is 'being close' really worth all the pain? You need to explain to him the next time he comes around that you BOTH need space and time away from each other. Agree to not call each other anymore. Just say, "No."
And I know it will hurt... But I promise that over time you'll feel better and you WILL LOVE AGAIN. Suggestion: instead of jumping back into the dating scene... How about taking a break? Allow yourself to greive and mourn your loss... Then pick yourself up and dust yourself off. Ask yourself... What do I want? Set standards... Not just for the type of person that you want to date... But for what you want your relationship to be like. Then date with those standards in mind. If someone doesn't meet those standards... Date someone else! Meet people, date around, explore your options... Don't settle until you've found the right person!
And trust me... He's not the right person. Really... I know that everything I've said is very hard to swallow. I tell you this because I do care, and I do understand... We have, all of us, been where you are right now. I feel your pain and I'm sorry...
I wish you all the happiness in the world.
P.S. Please go the nearest bookstore and buy a copy of, "He's Just Not That Into You," by Greg and Liz. Please, please, please...
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This is going to sound a little harsh, but it's what you need to hear. Thinking that you're addicted to him and his sex is a big fat EXCUSE! Stop making excuses for yourself and take control of your life. No matter what you are feeling you always have the choice. You can't control what you feel, but you can most certainly control what you do. If you want to stop having sex with him just stop! Your lust isn't going to go away right away, but there's no reason why you have to act on it every time.
Next, you need to realize that you're not the only person with this problem. Probably over 50% of the population is going through or has been through the EXACT same thing. They got by it and so can you. You're not a wimpy, fragile person that is controlled by everything around her. You can be strong if you try, so try!
The best way to start is to avoid being alone with this guy. At all costs. If you're not alone with him, you're not gonna have sex. Take the temptation away by taking the opportunity away. So then, the longer you don't have sex, the easier it will be to refuse it when the situation does come up.
Last, I'm NOT trying to be mean and if you were offended in any way I'm sorry. I'm actually very empathetic to your problem. I just really think that in this situation you don't need to be babied, you need to get in check with reality. Being babied will not help you at all and you're here looking for help and advice, not reassurances and false hope that everything will fix itself, because it won't.
Good luck.
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