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I switched roles, and I dont know if i should of...
its long, but keep on reading its interesting, and if you have any heart, or are really good at giving advice, read the whole thing, and respond. PLEASE!
Ok, I like this guy, I'll call him Brian. We have known each other for almost a year, and three months of those, we were involved. We were each other's first relationships, but he ended it, because we were just acting like friends, so we might as well stay that way. Well, its about six months since we broke up, and I still like him, and I think he likes me too. We talk on the phone basically every day for no less than an hour and a half up to three hours. Well, we are just friends, but last week we had this long conversation where we were just asking each other questions. And we took it too far, to the point where i asked him if he would ever rekindle old relationships, referring very well to his only one: with me. He doesnt kno that I officially still like him. Well anyway, it came out that some other girl has caught his attention. hearing this I froze up...even though my guy best friend talked to Brian, and brian told him, that he would rekindle old relationships, and that he does like me...the only thing is that he doesnt want to make the same mistakes again and hurt each other in another relationship (brian doenst take chances), so he didnt want to go there with me again. So, I called him up , trying to be the mature person and told him, that iwas sorry for taking the question game too far, and that I just wanted to be his good friend and that I hope him and the other girl work out. So, he got the idea that I didnt like him and that i basically put the seal on what could have been us by being just 'friends. the only reason why i did that is becuase i didnt want to get hurt, so i backed off when i heard he was interested in another girl. Turns out, he doesnt officialy really like her yet, he just wants to get to know her, so basically i had a chance, if i would have fought for him; but like him, i dont really take chances, and i gave up,because i wanst sure if he would reject me by telling me he just wanted to be freinds, which is why i beat him to it. So in like three days, i went from the girl who could potentially be with brian to the girl that happens to be his really good friend and is helping him get the other girl. KNowing very well that should be me. I should also mention the fact that when my best freind was talking to brian, he asked brian if he was just talking to the other girl to get over me, and he said 'no comment'. And we still talk the same amount of time, because he says he really likes talking to me, but last night, i basically helped him plan a date with the other girl; i would rather be the friend that he can talk to about the other girl, then be the girl who doesnt know the details on his love life. I put his potential happiness in front of mine, instead of fighting and trying to succeed with him. And i dont want to officially become that 'buddy old pal'. cuz it sounds immature, but i know we are meant to be together, we just click, and i hope u know what that feels like. Brian took the safe way out, by not going there with me again, and i accommadated him. And i dont know if I should try fighting for him again, or what? I need advice and major opinions on the situation. iwant to know what i could have done better, and what i should do now. I am going over his house tomorrow, so i wanted to tell him whats really good then, but that would mean i would have to eat all of those fluffy just friends words i gave him a few days ago. sometimes i feel that he has to explore other girls to really know if we are meant to be, so he wouldnt have any 'what ifs' or regrets. HELP PLEASE!!!
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you obviously REALLY like him, since you were putting his happiness before yours. its sounds as if he still likes you, and i think that you should be totally open and honest with him, and tell him how you feel about him. i think that he will understand, and i dont think he will be upset about you saying you just wanted to be friends when you didnt, because you were doing what you thought was best for him. i think you two should have a talk about this and see what he thinks, and i believe that things will work out the way they are supposed to for you.
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hey, alright well first of all your being very mature by putting his happiness in front of your own. that shows that your ready for a mature relationship. also always remember this quote: "mature love is wanting the other person to be happy no matter what; immature love is wanting the other person to be happy when there only with you". my ppinion on this is that you should let him explore other girls. when you hangout with him, confess to him that all that you said the other day was bull. let him know how you really feel. basically tell him what you just told us. its going to be hard, no doubts about it, but the only way to have a real chance with this guy is by telling him every bit of exactly how you feel. good luck.
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