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rebounding?
okay well you probably hear this type of question a lot..
but anyways about a week ago me and my boyfriend broke up and we were going out for about half a year and i really loved him a lot, but i found out he cheated on me with my cousin, it wasnt like a big deal to me though but my cousin made up some stuff and said i was sneaking around with this other guy when i truthfully wasnt she just said that to him so he would brake up with me so she could have him, we wernt going to brake up when i found out he cheated on me, we toked it over and they only kissed so it didnt bother me really, but my cousin lives right down the road from him and she got him to brake up with me and go out with her. its only been a week since we broke up and shes been going out with him for like 3 days and is acting like she has fallen in love already and stuff and i know my ex very well and i know he doesnt like that type of girl i think he might be using her for sex.. and yah i dont know what i should do like i have tried so many things to try to getr my mind off him .. i went out with friends and done all diffrent types of things but everyday i have cried on and off and last night i reallt broke down crying, it was really bad i dont know what i should do to try to get over him because it hurts really bad and i cant take feeling like this anymore but i cant help it.. also i know i could get him back and i really want him back.. but everyone is telling me to move on.. should i move on? or wait untill he uses my cousin? ah im so confused and also my friends told me to try rebounding like into another relationship, theres this guy who i think is cute and he likes me .. is rebounding healthy?
any advice is appreciated.
thanks.
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Hey.. I saw your question.. and I have been through that feeling too... when my boyfriend and I broke up I seriously didn't know what to do with myself.. I didn't understand why it was so hard for me to move on..I would break down all the time..and I was completley unhappy.. it's taken me a while to figure things out..but I've really matured and learned alot from that relationship...I know what you mean when you say you tried going out and staying busy but it didn't help all that much..that's how i felt too..so I thought to myself..the relationship I was in was impossible because of college and everything. You need to build your confidence.. do something you are interested in and set goals for yourself.. working out, a sport, club, job etc... find something you really would love to succeed in and focus all your attention to that. You need to realize that you deserve sooooo much more then your ex boyfriend ..I mean come on he cheated.. there's no excuse for cheating. He probably won't come back to you now because he knows you'll always be there waiting and he can come back to you whenever he wants.. build your confidence, meet other guys and just have a good time. Don't ever text/call or talk to him unless he talks to you first... and if he does.. be short with him but act like you've never been happier.. or if he calls be like o well i have to go I have plans or stuff to do.. talk to you later..you know? so he'll be like what?? she doesn't want to talk to me.. guys always want what they cant have.. by the time you build your confidence and you're happy with yourself again he will want you so bad.. but you won't even be interested because you're so much better then that!!!! seriously... I believe in karma.. and I believe that "everything happens for a reason".. maybe you'll learn something out of this relationship and become a stronger person.. !! stay positive.. you can do it!<3 hope I helped
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Hey,
Well you're right this is a very common question, but it's awesome because I've answered it so many times I have a great answer.
First of all, you're right, rebounding isnt healthy. Because you can get stuck in a relationship you dont want to be in and your exboyfriend can come back and want you and then you're hurting people (ie yourself and the new guy) so my suggestion is first of all to take this very slow. Work at your own pace, and yeah concentrate on another guy, but dont go after him just yet.
There are several steps to getting over a guy. And you have to take it one step at a time otherwise you fall down. Usually first thing I suggest is to do something new. Schools starting up again, find a new club and try and focus all of your energy on that. Learn new things and make new friends. (Its also an awesome opportunity to find new guys)
The next thing to work on, is yourself, you may be thinking about things like oh its my fault or because he chose her over me I'm not as good, but its not true and even if those feelings arent really obvious right now, they be lowlying feelings and once you recognize them you have to fight them because it isnt your fault and he lost someone really awesome.
Now guys, you like one already, thats awesome, but take it slowly. Dont jump into anything. Dont use the excuse that you are waiting for your boyfriend to come back or anything, just tell him you are still getting over him if anything starts up.
Remember, it's okay to cry. You will deal with this in your own way, and you will find strength, you just need to take it at your own pace. I always suggest writing down your feelings in a journal. It will help you remember for the future how crappy you feel.
If your cousin does use your boyfriend and he wants you back, tell him how crappy you felt and how stupid he was for leaving you.
REmember to follow your heart and do what feels right, if it feels too soon to date a new guy, then wait a bit. Your friends gave some awesome advice and I'm sure they are trying to be there for you, but only you can decide when you're ready.
Good luck babe, Hope I helped, and let me know if you need anything else.
Love ya,
Angie91
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