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We like the SAME person!
my friend(Rachel) and I both like the same guy. (this guy is our Best Guy friend)It is really hard to like the same person. Like at our school band BBQ he was there and i flirted w/ him and Rachel got angry(she didn't show it but she kinnda avoided me @ the time) And then once almost everyone left(except him,rachel and i) it was like 10:00pm. And i was asking him questions NOT trying to flirt but just talking. And she kind of stormed off and drove home. Then about 10 min later i drove home. I talked to her and she says she doesn't care if he goes out w/ me. But it was SOOOO obvious she was angry when i flirted w/ him.
I don't want to make her angry and 'dump' me as a friend. But then again i don't want to stop liking him(he's like the perfect guy!). WHAT CAN I DO THAT WON'T MAKE HER MAD BUT I CAN STILL LIKE THE GUY????
Any help i greatly apprieciated! Sorry if it's confusing.(just tell me)
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
What I would say, is that you both need to tell him- your guy friend. Tell him wy you both like him, and if he's honest, he will give you a wholesome answer saying if he likes either one of you. He may not like either of you, but that's okay. You could probably do better. Besides that being an option, talk to your friend, Rachel. You guys really got some talking to do! You guys have got to set boundries. You really ought to figure out if, one of you could actually get into a serious relationship with him anyway. Talk it out, and try to come up with a solution you know can work.
=] Caroline
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Well, you don't need me to tell you what a difficult situation this is. There's a lot of potential for hurt feelings and ruined friendships, and even if everyone has the best of intentions, things may end up going terribly wrong.
There's one person who hasn't weighed in so far, and that's the Guy (who I will refer to as "Guy", for lack of another name). Does he have any idea of the drama going on between you two? Does he know that one or both of you have feelings for him beyond friendship? Is he able to return that affection for either of you, if it were offered?
I think that the only way you're going to get through this with all relationships intact is to get everything out on the table. Start with you and Rachel - it's clear that she's got a problem with the idea of the two of you linking up, but are you sure it's because she likes him too? Maybe it's because she's afraid that if you and Guy hook up, she'll be excluded (and she's right, to a certain extent). The two of you need to sit down and have an honesty session, with no secrets and no attempts to gloss over the situation. Figure out how you each feel about him and about whether your friendship can survive it if one of you ends up dating him.
Once you've got things figured out between the two of you, get Guy involved for an honest conversation between the three of you. What you say to him depends on what you figure out with Rachel. Consider, though, that what he has to say might not fit in very well with what you two figure out in advance. For instance, it may be that you really like him, but he has eyes for Rachel. Or he might not be interested in either of you in that way. Or he might really like one of you, but feel that he can't pursue it because of what it will do to the friendship between you.
No matter what happens, it's going to take some emotional maturity and good character to get through this with everyone still happy in the end. My guess is that one of you, either you or Rachel, is going to end up dealing with the fact that your good friend is dating the guy you want.
It sucks, but unfortunately, C'est la vie.
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