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I hate my Family !
I'm so tried,I cant take it anymore,Nobody likes me,i'm the girl that no-one wants ! My sister is a snitch, every secret that i've tol her she went 2 my mum and told her,Shes good with my mum so my mum loves her so much. they both beat me today. I swear u should see what my sister done 2 my hand!!! All of them beat me up cause i'm not just like them, I dont care if they dont like me but they do not respect me either.I'm 16 n I'm not allowed 2 do anything,Its not fair! My dad always beleive them he doesnt listen to me cuz he hits me so bad to! I swear to God I'm tried of cryin every night,Home is like hell for me.I never liked my mum shes a stranger to me,they dont answer or talk 2 me ,they just hate me and beat me hard for stupid reasons.My life is so messed up I'm always upset try to ignore them at home but they just make me sick and angry when they say bad stuff about me ...I have no1,when i cry and tell my friends about it they just cant understand me cause they have good relastionships with their mother...
I dont know what to do ,shal i kill myself Or kill them???
help me please
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
First of all, times can be hard but you can't give up or let anyone (even your family) get you down. People I've known who have had unsupportive or abusive families that they could not lean or rely on took it as their given setback in life (everyone is given setbacks in life in the purpose that it unknowingly teaches you strength and intelligence when you work through life to overcome them) However, even with their own negative families who made attempts to bring them down, although they did not surrender thier happiness to them, they did try to rebuild what was lost in an attempt to mend their family relationships to the best of their ability (so even if the other person(family member) did not respond to their good intentions and efforts to fix critical problems in the relationship - at least they tried) And, thats all YOU can do on your part, is try. However, even if it is unfixable there will be new families known as friends, and other loving relationships with the people who know you, support you, and love you. We are given life friends that are just as dear to us and even though theyre are not biological to us...they are the brothers and sisters we weren't born with but are our family away from home...now I know im getting a little deep so what Im trying to say is: There is more to life and if you could just get through these problems you're having now, youll see that there is more to live for including the possible friends now and the friends you'll have in the future who will need you there and love you so much that they couldn't stand a life if you weren't in it. When I was 15, 16, I was a wild child (sold drugs, stole a car with my friend and crashed it, ran away, moved out, went to juve, etc) and in my opinion my family didnt understand me, my older sister was a honour student never did anything bad in her life (so i couldn't turn to her because she wouldnt understand the life that i lived or she would snitch (like yours) At a point, I thought about killing myself and I even cut my wrists because I was just feeling so much pain and I couldnt find an answer or way to come out of it, but I never went through with it and I held on to the little bit of strength I had and eventually through all the confusion, It turned out to be okay and now I would never consider taking my life. My dad killed himself and what he left behind were those who cared so deeply for him that we suffered from his actions more than anything. Im telling you this because Killing yourself is not the answer and I want you to know that if you're considering it...please dont... and I dont know if you're joking, but killing your family wont work either because that will wreck your life, in the sense, it will put you behind bars for the rest of your life so that youll never even be able to enjoy anything like you want to. It is important to remember no matter how much you are done wrong, you must keep your integrity and be the person you are and not drop down to their level. You have to start loving yourself when love from others is hard to find. Take charge of your life and let no one destroy or undermine the potential you have in this life you were given. I don't know every detail and I can't fully imagine what you're feeling right now because Im not in the exact same situation but, what I think might help is that of 3 options:
1. If you are seriously being physically abused and are scared or feel your life is in danger from what your family does to you and you would feel safer away from home than in home then you should really consider taking yourself out of the situation. There are child service agencies you can call (every place is different) you could be put in foster care BUT where I live, 16 years old is the minimum age you are able to move out on your own legally. There are places and services that can teach you how to live and support yourself rather than being in foster care or the care of an abusive family.
2. Im not sure if you've already tried or not but communication is most important in making relationships work, so, I just have to say, try telling them what their actions is doing to you and how it is impacting your life and affecting you in a negative way. Voice why you wan't to have certain things or do certain things in your life (like going out to a party, etc) and also question their opinions and why they disagree with you or why they won't compromise or come to an agreement that you both can live happilly with. Pretty much, just share everything with them that has been bothering you and making you feel the way you do and get their perspective on it, then try to find an agreement that is livable, workable, and meets the needs of you and your family. Yet, if this still does not work...
3. Seek professional help like a family councellor or mediator that could act as a third party and help you resolve your problems with eachother. Its not as bad as it sounds, I had problems with my sister when I was 16, because we were so different, my mom was being a mom yet I still felt she didn't understand me..SO I was appointed by a judge to see a family councellor. At first, I was like, whatever, at least im not going to juve again..but When I was there at the familiy councellor and got to talk to her (alone and then with my family) it really helped me and the relationship with my family because a person who didn't know my mom, my sister, or me, got to hear our perspective on issues that we had with eachother or were dealing with, we were able to (without fighting) understand eachother's actions and why we were being the way we were. I worried at first, that just because I was the younger one who had been in all the trouble I had been in, the councellor would automatically agree with my mom and my sister, However, that was not the case. The councellor actually stood up for me in the areas that I had a problem with my mom and my sister. She also let me have more of an insight into my own actions and the affects it was having on them. Moreover, it helped us repair and strengthen our family to this day, when really I used to think it would always remain broken.
This is really all you can do, I know this way costs some money but the worth of your family should be a good enough reason to go. At least this way, someone who has never met your family can tell them that what they're doing is wrong to you, they can also help you find ways to work with your family so that you are not overwhelmed by their actions and help you deal with them in a better manner, in addition, they are someone who acts with your best interests at heart and have the professional ability to map out the change your family needs to be in order for you to feel like your family is a family to you and that your needs will be met just as much as their needs are. No matter what you choose, life will be better for you if you just remember to find your strength in yourself and overcome these obstacles in order to see the other side. Life is what you make of it, If you are unhappy with it, there will always be a choice for you to make that will lead you into a new direction. So don't be afraid to make a change if things aren't right especially in the pursuit of happiness:) I hope this helps you and if i missed anything or you need more help feel free to ask me anytime. Good luck:)
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