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Grandpa in over head and needs out....
A few years ago, my grandmother passed away after a long illness. My family was devastated,especially my grandfather. Some time passed and he met "Teri". She is 30 years younger than him,in fact she's 3 years younger than his youngest daughter. Teri does various drugs and has been in jail for larceny. While out on probation this past Christmas, she stole my grandpa's car and his ATM card. The car was recovered Around New Years, she stole more money from him (he forgave her) and wound up in jail somehow. Now my grandpa is tens of thousands of dollars in debt as he pays her bills off (which includes lawyers to get her out of jail),as well as his own. He makes very little money as it is. He's come to all of us for loans. We're a close family and we only want what's best for him. We want him to cut this woman out of his life and all of the negative influence that comes with it. I realize this might be a delayed reaction to the grief of losing my grandmother. All attempts to talk to him about it result in him saying "you don't understand her" or "don't worry about it." what do we do?
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Perhaps that it would be best to take the tough love approach. As hard as it may seem, if the family continue to support him (financially) supporting her then he will continue to be blinded.
In all likliness this is a delayed reaction to your grandmother's passing and he will be extremely flattered by the attention of a woman so much younger than himself.
I know that it will be hard however, for his own sake, the next time he asks for a loan to help out his girlfriend say no! In saying this, I do not mean for you to let him become destitute or such like - if he needs groceries, buy them for him - if he needs clothes dry cleaned take them with yours and pay for it if you feel you need to.
Although this may seem harsh it may be just what he needs to see that he is at risk of losing everyone that he cares about or worse still, losing himself amongst all the craziness and wrecklessness this woman has brought to his life. There is no way that you can continue to aide him in supporting this tyrant of a woman and expect him to see clearly that she is no good for him.
When he says that you don't understand tell him that you do. At the moment he needs to feel needed as he probably feels very lonely since your grandmother passed (no disrespect meant to you or your family but there are certain things that people only share with their partners). Perhaps he did a lot of things for your grandmother and looked after her during her illness and feels that he no longer has a purpose to his days. Get him to cut the grass (if he is able), look after the children or anything else that he may enjoy. Most importantly make him feel needed - you and your family may wish to wrap him in cotton wool and feel bad about asking him to do these things but men (especially older men) have a distinct yearning to be needed/useful and to have a purpose.
He will feel that he has no companion to share things with however, the hard task is getting him to see that the things he needs will never come from this woman and that this woman will never be deserving of all the things he wants to give.
I hope this has helped and please let me know how things turn out.
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you should tell your grandfather that teri has done drugs and been to jail and she also stole your money...you cannot trust her! you never know..she might do it again!! people these days can do anything for moneyy!!
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Tell him that she is just a gold digger, and will keep stealing that money, and that shes ripping your family apart (even though she might not be) :D
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