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my boyfriend's not-so-platonic conversation with ex
I found our that my boy friend had chatted with his ex ex ex online, and i cannot confront because it was not a noble way how i found out (snooping). she was telling him that she just broke up with her guy, and she asked about me, like how serious we are, whether there is potential for long term... my boy friend said, potenital-yes in many areas, but he has concerns on things- I'm young, and we dont always communite very well, he feels that he has to explain things to me a lot, but he is ok doing this for now,not sure if it will be an issue in the long term. :(
and then she asked him what went wrong between them in their past relationship....and they both realized they still miss each other!!!!! and apparent they felt a lot for each other when they were together, but she was here temporarily for a period of time, and had to go back to where she's from (another country) eventually.....so they didnt work out due to the long distance, and they felt like their relationship was unfinish and if she could be in the states, the relationship would be worked out ( even in a long term sense).....
she even suggested that, if things dont work out with me, they should go on vacation to somewhere together and see each other, he said deal, and he said he misses her and wants to see her again.
Tina, i really really don't know what to do...
i mean...they have not seen each other for 3-4 years. and they dont talk often as far as i know. i understand i may not be the most significant girl to him, but did not expect that he would still feel so much for her, misses her and want to see her still (when i feel like we are gernally happy together).
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Aww, don't take this offensively, but I'm sorry that your boyfriend's a jackass.
Whether you were snooping or not, there is absolutely NO reason for him to make that type of deal with his EX girlfriend. She's an ex for a reason, and she needs to stay that way.
Tell your boyfriend that you were being a snoop [although he'll be upset] & you found the conversation. Tell him you don't approve of the things that were said & it helped you a lot.
He's going to get upsrt & see your snooping as a sign of mistrust, but you actually have a reason not to now. He hasn't done anything with her, but talks like that should be done with when you're with someone else.
So all in all, confront him, confess your snooping & have a long talk about where your relationship is headed because before he can evaluate things with someone, he needs to evalute things with himself, and you.
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