well i was going out with this guy (Z) and my friend told me that he had poked this other girl. when i asked him about it he sed he doesnt even know a girl with that name i kept asking him but he kept denying it until one day he finally told me the truth. he told me it would never happen again so we continued going out, then a month or so later i then heard from everyone that he had cheated on me with like two or three other girls so i broke up with him. i still talk to him on MSN...we have been broken up for over a month now and most of the time when he starts talking to me, he asks me out again i always say no but he just keeps asking me. i say to him i can't trust u, i can't trust that your not going to cheat on me again and he always says i promise i won't i just want you back..this is really annoying me and i want to be mean to him and tell him to f*** off but then i think thats mean so i don't do it. so i just need some advice on what to do everytime he asks me out again.
christina answered Sunday July 8 2007, 10:03 am: Talk to him about it. Tell him that you can't trust him or believe him since he cheated on you & then lied to you about it. If you rather be friends, then tell him that & make sure you tell him firmly so he'll understand. It's best if you do this on the phone because you can't understand the tone if someone is writing. They can say something in a totally different context & you'll think of it a different way.
Anyways, if he doesn't seem to understand that no means no even after you've told him firmly, then maybe stop talking to him for a bit & see if that helps. If it doesn't, then you're going to either have to block him, or be rude. [ christina's advice column | Ask christina A Question ]
ammo answered Sunday July 8 2007, 9:36 am: I think you need to explain to him that the value of his word doesn't mean much considering he had already lied to you as well as broken any trust you had for him. The thing that really annoyed me about what you had said was that you took him back even after he had cheated as well as lied to you - you gave him a second chance and all he did with that second chance is throw it away just for a stupid and pointless fling.
Personally, and talking from experience, when you lose trust in a person it becomes closeto impossible to be able to hold a relationship with that person because you are constantly asking yourself whenever you're not with them if they are cheating at that very moment or who they might be with, where they've gone and if they lied about where they went etc, etc. The whole relationship becomes that - doubt and second guessing. That's not what a relationship is. I think you need to be straight with him and lay the cards out. I know it may seem mean but I think it's unfair that he screws up the relationship and then makes YOU feel bad about hurting HIM when he keeps on pestering you about going out with him again. Make it clear it won't happen anytime soon because of what he did so to stop asking you because it is starting to annoy you, and just go from there. He will hopefully just understand this and stop but if he doesn't then my only other suggestion is to tell him to either stop or you'll just put him on block. It generally works with me when people on MSN annoy me. :]
xomegaroni answered Sunday July 8 2007, 9:28 am: I think you should be straight forward about it. Why are you worried about being mean? Cheating on you a few times wasn't mean? It seems pretty rude to me. If he keeps asking you out, ask him to stop. Explain that you have no interest in him anymore & he lost his trust with you. It would probably be a huge mistake taking him back, because since he cheated on you a few times, he is most likely to cheat again. If he doesn't take the hint, you probably shouldn't even be friends with him. He should respect your opinions. Obviously he realized that he made a mistake by letting you go & cheating on you, but it didn't stop him from not cheating. If it persists, stop talking to him. If he can't respect you or listen to what you have to say, he isn't being your friend. If you explain that he is just annoying you & that you don't want to give him another chance, he should lay off a bit & listen to your feelings.
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