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Phone/boyfriend/parents
F/15/going into the 10th grade
my boyfriend is M/18/just graduated high school.
My parents don't know about my boyfriend. He and I talk every night, though. It's not like they don't know I'm on the phone, I've just never told them who it was on the other end. We always talk after nine, because that's when my free minutes start-- so 1) Will his number [because it's long distance] show up on the phone bill, even though it was a 'free' call? Because he and I talk A LONG TIME almost every night.
He and I both have unlimited texting, so we text alot-- 2)do the numbers you text show up on your phone bill?
3) He lives in Miami, five or so hours south of me-- and he's around three years older than me. The age difference doesn't bother me because we make a joke out of it-- but we've had phone sex before, never real sex, though. He just says it's because it's he's a guy and just likes it, but it still sortof bothers me. I'm never into it, but because it means so much to him, I pretend to be. It's not like we do often or that's why we talk so much every night, but still- it sortof makes me wonder I'm being used.
Sorry, this is long. I tried to sum it all up, answers are appreciated.
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First off, let me say that I've been where you've been. And using both the house phone and the cell (when my parents were over the bill), the numbers did show up on the phone bill. It's going to regardless.. every number, whether free or not, will show up. Now, I shouldn't be tellin you this but if he calls you from a private number, then thats what will show up (private number) but it will make things even more suspicious. The numbers you text don't show up but it will from the calls and in your case, I guess that's enough to get it seen by your parents. But if they don't have detailed billing, then it won't matter. That means that they don't get the sheets with all the numbers on, just how much the bill is.
DO NOT DO ANYTHING THAT BOTHERS YOU!!! Definitely, not for any BOY... notice I didn't say man. First of all, he would have cleared it with you when it came to the phone sex instead of giving you some half answer about how he has to do it cuz he's a guy. That's BS. And I know that you are young and you feel like if you don't give it to him, then someone else will for real. And it's better for you to be uncomfortable then that to happen. But it's really not. I have been in your shoes so many times. And at first, I did it because he wanted to but then it became something that I couldn't live with. And at the end of the phone conversation, if you are not satisified with yourself, then it wasn't worth it. If you can't have a relationship with you for other reasons and other reasons only, then you need to let him go. Sorry to say it but you don't want to get hurt later on and you have got to protect your heart and not leave it up to someone else. You are being used sweetheart! Not only are you lying to your parents by not telling them about him (which I'm sure they know, they're just waiting for you to say something), you are lyiing to yourself... and all for a guy that talks to you so late at night because he sees you as his booty call and not his girlfriend. I'm 21 years old and like I said, I've been there and I've done that and it ain't all that!
Think about yourself first. Talk to him and let him know that you do it because it means something to him. And if he starts acting like an ass, then drop him like last week's garbage honey because you are worth more than that and deserve more than that! Love has nothing to do it... because if it did, you wouldn't be asking this question or battling with anything in your mind when it comes to him. He's off at college doing his thang and bein with whoever (not sayin that he's cheating but throwing it out there because i'm sure you've thought about it).... so you need to give yourself a chance to grow up and experience your life and not be tied down to anybody that you have questions about... good luck babygirl and you can hit me up at anytime you need anything! let me know how it goes :)
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YES the numbers will show up of who you call. I don't think texting numbers will show up though.
my advice for your 3rd question is to not listen to any advice given to you on the site. only you and him know how your relationship is. only you two know how you feel about each other. i can see how you wonder if you're being used, but if YOU feel that your reltaionship is deeper than phone sex, you can judge if you're being used or not. My boyfriend and I had a very rough first couple months dating, i mean he cheated on me and lied a lot. We broke up for a while and when we got back together everything has been fine, he even lives with me now. Everyone told me not to take him back blah blah blah but i listened to MY instincts and now i'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo happy with him! just trust yourself to make the right decision and do what you want, not what other people tell you to do!!
Michelle
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1.) His number will show up on the phone bill, and it might catch your parents' eyes if you're talking for hours at a time. It doesn't cost you anything, but it might raise a red flag.
2.) The numbers usually don't show up on the phone bill, especially if you have unlimited or any type of plan. I know for a fact that Verizon doesn't do this, but I'm not sure about your carrier.
3.) I think he is sort of using you. Yes, he's a horny 18 year old guy. If you're not into it, then its another red flag. Let him know you're not, and if he gets mad.. he's probably not right for you.
Please ask separate questions next time! =]
--Jack
(15/m)
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