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hope you can answer
14/f becoming a freshman
Well this is kinda 2 questions. Sorry. Anyways my first question is now that im getting into HS i dont know how im going to have an actual relationship with a guy because i cant date till im a senior. My older sister (leaving for college) wasnt aloud to date till she was a senior and is trying to convince my mom and dad to let my brother and i date at least when we are4 a sophmore because my brother will be a junior. She told them no one wanted to date her then and shes never had a real bf. I dont know whats gonna happen. I was thinking about it and there are alot of resturants up the street from school and people go down there so i was thinking we could do that but im not really sure.
Next question is im beginging to feel more and more left out about not having a bf when all my other friends have. A guy has never asked me out before and people tell me im pretty and that i have such a good personality and yet there is nothing. I hate watching a show or a movie and that person is on a date or is having her first kiss because i want that so bad. Like a few minutes ago im watching this TV show and the girl is going on dates and is kissing and im talking to my best friend (who has a bf and kissed) and im talking to her you know what its like i dont. I just feel so left out. I hate imagining about it and thinking about it because i get so depressed about it. only 2 guys have liked me. 1 in 7th and one in 8th. but they never told me but i knew. i had that gut feeling but they both got back with there ex girlfriends. I feel hopless and im getting braces and i i have no idea how im gonna kiss or make out with braces without cutting the guy. i just want a guy that will walk with me to class talk on the phone, makes me laugh. i had some self esteem issues in 7th grade and now everything is back to normal and i think im pretty again but i feel all the bf/ kissing thing is blowing up in my face. i like pray to God to help me but i just cant take it anymore. i want to know. people say its not all that but i wanna find that out for myself. please help me.
thanks.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Sorry for my tardiness in gettig back to you. It has been quite a busy week. So, here we go with your answers.
1) Do you have an aunt or adult your parent's value the opinion of and always trust? You need someone other than your sister to twist their arms to see that you are a good kid, not someone who is going to make bad mistakes ie have sex and get pregnant etc.
This person should tell them that most kids your age date and that they cannot expect you to have to wait until you are 18-years-old as that's way beyond unrealistic.
Find someone who will champion for your rights that is an older adult such as a teacher, grandparent, aunt, friend of your family.
Tell them to start with "do you think so and so is kissing boys yet?" and joke about it and then start attacking in a playful manner them being too old fashioned and that you should be allowed to.
You could get a guidance counselor or teacher point out that you being forbidden to associate with boys until age 18 negatively affects your development and seperates you from your peers and people your age. Teachers and guidance counselors are on your side.
2) Relax about not having had a boyfriend or a kiss yet. The more you keep pushing for it the harder it is to find someone or them to find you. If you know someone likes you tell them you like them and about your situation and meet up in groups at the movies etc and work on building a relationship.
First boyfriends and kisses just happen when you aren't even looking. You have to step up your flirting, approach guys you like and let them know you're there and interested. Go to a lot of parties, hang out in groups and you'll meet the right guy.
Trust me, God listens. He may not give you a boyfriend (poof) but he does give you opportunities to meet one or to be in a situation where they come to you. Don't dispair as people start dating either in their teens or some in their 20s and you can be any age to have a first kiss.
Remember it's not a competition. Stop trying to make it happen as it all comes on it's own. It's unfoldment. Wait and see what God has in store for you as you haven't given things time to naturally progress.
The braces issue is no big deal as a lot of kids have them and kiss up a storm with their boyfriends/girlfriends. I've never known of anyone who cut their tongue because their partner has braces. You kiss like normal and if you need to make a few minor adjustments you'll be fine.
You'll have all these things for yourself soon but need to relax about this and go about your normal routine as guys can see you are tense or appear wound up and yes even needy of them. The sooner you stop worrying, act normally and get in there and approach guys you'll be fine.
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Babe, you sound A LOT like me. Self esteem issues in 7th grade? Been there, and I too had them in seventh grade. Never had a boyfriend or been kissed? Welcome to my world. I'm able to answer questions about love life though, just because I know everything. Never doubt that about me.
The first thing is your parents rules are your parents rules. You should try to persaude them to let you go on dates, but that doesn't mean you have to let it get you down. I'm not saying to go out with every guy you meet, however, that doesn't mean you can flirt and maybe go to the occasional movie with a guy.
Feeling left out because you don't have a guy? Been there, done that. People say you're pretty and have a good personality, yet no one asks you out? Once again, I've been through that. Honestly, the only thing you can do is wait. And think about it. Would you rather make-out with guys you have no feeling for or wait for the right one? My guess is the latter of the two. People find romance at all different ages. You're 14. Some people aren't kissed until 18. And in my opinon, that probably won't happen to you, seeing as people HAVE liked you.
Next, don't worry about braces. Truthfully, no one really gets cut with braces. There are probably a few cases where it has happened, but it's not probable.
I really hope I helped! If you want you can ask me for my screenname and we can talk. You sound a lot like me =].
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