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Okay so I have this "friend"
15/m
There's this girl. We were pretty good friends in the 2005-2006 school year (8th grade). Then we got to high school this past school year, and we had two classes together. We didn't sit next to each other in the first class we had together, and we did in the second class for the last half of the year. I have reason to believe she cut herself in 8th grade, and she's just got that depressive vibe that I tried to deal with in her and other people before, but its just something I can't handle. I'm the type of person that likes being happy and not sad.
Anyway.. for some reason, the friendship started to dwindle, as I didn't have the time to keep the friendship alive, with all the extra activities I was/am in. Plus, by the end of the day of school, where our classes were together, I was not always the most awake person. I was very exhausted, so my facial expressions weren't always positive. So this person would always ask me, "Are you okay?"- and it just got really annoying, along with the "Are we gunna gunna hang out?" and I would say, "yes, when I have time", and she would say, "Now does that mean we are going to, or are you just saying that?". All of it just got annoying, and I am so intolerant to annoyance.
So on myspace, she sent me a message and asked if we were still friends, as I was sort of avoiding her. I told her yes, and she said, "I think our friendship is dwindling because I liked you last year (8th grade) and you never did anything, and I got mad".. and knowing that wasn't the real reason why, I straight up told her that the things she did and asked continuously were annoying. I told her to give me some space for awhile. So of course, she comments me again on myspace a few days later and says, "This whole thing is stupid, forget about it!". And a few days later, she decides to start trying to talk to me again, and I wasn't ready. Thankfully, school ended, and we're going to different schools next year, but she commented me again on myspace just recently, and said "Its summer, you can't be too busy now, lol". Does she not realize that I don't want to talk to her?- because I told her that the "we don't hang out" thing was annoying.
Do I have to tell her again?
Does she get that I'm avoiding her and that I don't really want to be her friend anymore? I know that sounds mean- but I'm just really intolerant to annoyance, like I said, and I don't see myself forgetting about this.
What should I do?
Thanks!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Holy Moley!I guess this girl does not take rejection well at all. She is in denial, and thinks that there is still a chance to be friends. I think that since there was a large possibility that she was a cutter, then she was depressed and looking for a friend. You lucky thing, you just happened to be that friend, and now she is stuck to you like gum on the bottom of a shoe. Tell her that you need your own time to do what you want, and if YOU ever feel the want to hang out with her, then you will tell her. Also, tell her that you feel as if you have drifted apart, and you will probably rarely see eachother again so it is her time to make new friends, or you can just keep ignoring her, and once you are in your new school, she will probably forget about you.
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Well to start off, I agree with the person below me, and I 100 percent agree that the saying
'you don't know what you've got till it's gone' is true. Because sometimes, you really don't realize how good you have/had things, until you don't have them anymore.
I think that's what this girl is starting to realize. She dosen't want to lose you, because you mean something to her.
But I don't think she realizes she dosen't mean the same to you.
If you really don't want her around,
just let her down gently.
Say something like,
"Listen, I know we were good friends before and all, but it's kinda faded now and I think it's best for both of us if we just go our seperate ways and not bother one another. We're going to different schools next year, too and it'll just complicate our frienship."
Don't be too harsh on her,
just tell let her know you don't think your friendship will work out.
<3 Laura.
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You know, she misses you.
Have you ever heard that phrase "you don't really know what you have until it's gone"
Well, don't completely abandon her. Just don't because that phrase is *completely* true.
Tell her you just need some time from her and ask her not to comment you or anything.
"I didn't have the time to keep the friendship alive, with all the extra activities I was/am in."
What you wrote you say you still are in activities right now? Tell her you're busy with those if you have to.
But really, don't cut off the friendship too long or she might not feel like shes your friend anymore at all and won't bother you anymore. It may be what you want now but later when you need a friend and you're others might not be there for you, she won't be either unless you make sure to stay on track with her
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