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I don`t even want to go to my own 'surprise party...'
Okay, these girls that stabbed me in the back, started rumors, & talked about me behind my back & I don`t want to have anything to do with them. Plus, my mom wants me to not even be in the same room with them cause I was crying for basically a week cause of them.
One of them told one of my actual friends that they were going to throw me a surpise birthday party since I couldn`t have one. I`m having one ... I`m just not inviting them, so I told them I wasn`t even having one. I blocked their screen name, phone number, e-mail ... everything. The thing is, they live in my neighborhood. So if they come to my house, how do I get out of going to this thing?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
You don't have to go anywhere you don't want to go. If they show up looking to take you anywhere based on how badly they were treating you tell them "I'm sorry you went to the trouble of doing this/stopping by but my family and I were on the way out to celebrate my birthday just now." conclude "thank you for being so considerate (even if they aren't) and I'll see you at school."
That's a classy way of showing them where things stand and not letting them think you are scared or they have that affect on you. You made a HUGE mistake though in blocking their e-mails, screen name and phone numbers.
Why? You just might need any/all e-mails, IM conversations, dates and times of calls/threats/harassment should things esclate further. It proves to your school, teachers, yes even olice if they won't stop harassing you exactly what they've been doing.
It won't happen but if these people showed up and came into your house uninvited while nobody else is there you could call to have them asked to leave your property which is your right but you would need a damn good reason and a lot of proof before doing so.
Just have your foot in the middle of the door between you and them so you can easily keep them back and close the door should they insist you go with them or want to talk with your parents etc.
You'll be fine but in the meantime, I want to suggest that you take self-defense courses as well as a bit of counselling to figure out how to combat people like those and defuse the situation and end the rumors and backstabbing.
One great tip I have learned is to "consider the source of the rumor" If the people know nothing about you don't let it upset you. Ask yourself "Are they jealous of me, my talents, social status etc" and "Are these people from a broken home or some kind of situation where they crave constant attention?
Are these people poor students and I'm a great student that teacher's single out? That's a prime reason as it's called professional jealousy (even if you're in a school) and it's where someone or a group of people go after a high acheiver or performer on the job because they secretly long for what you have and dispise you because you've got it or it seems easy for you and hard for them.
Also really ask yourself if you may have inadvertently offended one of them or pissed someone off. most likely you haven't. You also need to think this "If they called me a purple urkle would it bug me? no it wouldn't because that's silly.
It's the same thing here as their rumor has the same weight of them calling you a purple urkle. The only power it has is if you react which allows for others to see that and bother you. No matter how much a rumor may sting or have a level of truth be stoic.
Once they see they cannot get you they'll move on as attention is what they thrive on. It's like an addiction for them because nobody ever gives them positive attention elsewhere
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simply say, i didn't feal that you would be welcome at this party! it would be akward, and i think we both know what you said about me was horrible! i deserve better friends! thank you for coming, bye! [don't be too meen!] hope that works! -morgan.
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Be really blunt. You know how you felt after you found out what they said and did. Tell them that you don't appreciate what they said and did and that you'd like them to stop being two-faced about their friendship with you. If you don't want anything to do with them, then tell them that they hurt you, and you no longer want to be part of their group.
As for actually getting out of the party, if they told your real friend about the party, I bet he/she could get the date and time as well and tell you. Then, make plans to be busy that night - and if you can't actually be out of the house, see if you can't get your parents to tell the kids that you're not available. Since your mom doesn't seem to like them much, I'm betting she'd be okay with helping you get out of a party where you'd be spending time with them.
Good luck.
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