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a lil Lost
This is from: Friendship to Relationship
Well I am not ready for a relationship; I was curios if friends can get together and if it will last a good relationship.
I am a women who is slowly realizing that I am Bi, I had past boyfriends but didn’t work out, I am still good friends with my last boyfriend and I talk to him often. The reason why I broke up with him is because I didn’t want to be with someone that I don’t like, while I was crashing on someone else. And she is my best friend that I new for 9 years. In those years I started to have deep feelings for her and I didn’t understand why I did.
I started to think about her 24 hours a day and I help her on her issues, be there by her side when life got her down and I wish for her happiness.
I might be in love with her but I don’t know, I don’t want to see her with someone else and not with me but I can’t stop her on who she will like.
I told her how I felt about her and she was shocked but supported, she told me she will still be my friend no matter how I feel in my heart. She felt fine about me liking her but she doesn’t feel the same about me and she not sure herself about what gender she is interest in.
I was glad she told me that because I am not ready for a relationship with a women and I want to find out who I am before I make that decision.
She is very close to me and a touchy person; I get confused about her because before I told her how I felt about her, she then is a touchy close person to me. And when I told her how I felt she IS STILL a close person to me.
I try not to think much about it but then I start to think that she might like me back but not sure her self.
I would ask her but I don’t want to it‘ll be award. I want to get over her and move on and that’s what I am going to do. I don’t want to wait for her to make a decision IF she likes me back. But if she tells me that she does I will make that risk and go out with her. But its her decision, I want to see her as my friend but I just cant so that’s why I am planning to move away out of state and start new.
Is that right should I move on?
Why is she close to me STILL?
Sorry that this is long…
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Thank you for writing me back and giving me some more information about your situation. I'm in a similar predicament too but in your friend's position. I've been friends with this guy for about 3 years, and he's fallen in love with me and seems to be unable to just be my friend. So I know how tough it must be for you and your friend as well.
Before you move away (if your feelings for your friend are the only reason you're leaving), I would ask that you try to look beyond your feelings for her and think of how much she cares for you as a friend. This is a person who accepted you when many people wouldn't have. She still treats you the the same - with love, respect, and acceptance.
Do you really want to shut her and all of her many wonderful traits out of your life forever? And do you really want to leave her without your support when she was there to give you hers? Just as you can't turn your feelings for her off, she can't turn her feelings for you on. It's frustrating, but you both have very little control over this situation.
Whatever decision you make, there's going to be pain involved. Unfortunately, that's life. You're going to hurt either way, but at least you'll be hurting with a friend by your side who will support you and help you through it. Whether your friend remains in your life or not, your feelings for her will eventually fade away. I'll explain more later.
If you decide that the friendship isn't worth the pain you're feeling, pursue a relationship, and discover that she's into you too, you have an entirely different situation on your hands. If you're really into her, I would suggest telling her how you feel and asking if she feels the same way. Don't try to read her mind or guess how she feels. Just ask.
I know it might be hard, but you and she deserve to have all the facts before you decide to leave. She might like you and you will never know if you just disappear. Personally, if you don't have to leave, I don't think you should. I think this girl seems like a good, loyal friend, and she deserves to have a good, loyal friend too. You should be that friend.
It might feel like you might not ever get over her, but you will. Love, like any emotion we have, only lasts if we continue to feed it and nurture it. If you go out and try to meet new people - guys or girls - eventually the focus of your attention will shift to someone else. And you'll be very happy to still have her friendship in your life.
Please let me know how things go. :)
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