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how do i let go of silly grudges?
ok so me and my bf fight alot. we both love each other more then words could explain but we have 2 problems; my rebellious attitude and his inability to show affection! We have been dating for 1 1/2 years! i love this man and i wanna spend the rest of my life with him! last night i told him i needed a lil break because i havent been able to forget about all the times hes hurt me (lil things that shouldnt matter but they do to me). and well after we talked about it and everything he said it was fine but asked me not to take toooo long. understandable right? well i have this lil habit of holding grudges and not letting them go. so i guess what i need is ways to move on from all those bad things and start over with him. i dont wanna us to be over for good but i cant continue to be with him with all these lil things getting in the way. i just need a way to i guess not forget them but to just let them completely go and forgive him for all of them! im in DIER NEED!!!!!!!
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well,i gotta tell you that if you want to continue with this dude you have to forgive him.Hes going to do many things in the future thatll get you angry and so will you,what are you going to do then??Keep holding grudges till you guys get older??If you cant forgive him for what hes done,then your feeling of grudges are obviously more then your feeling of love towards him.Ok take a 3 day break from him to understand the following things imma tell you about
*Hes done stuff in the past to piss you off,and nomatter how hard you feel anger towards what hes done,its NOT gonna change the past.He aint doing them things now right?
*All people that love eachother have arguments and conflicts.Youve hurt him and hes hurt you,and it will go on but not ALOT.The small things you must learn to let go of or you will not only lose this guy,but ALL the guys that you will meet in your life
*Obviously your rebellious attitude is what caused his apathy for you.You must learn to change the little things in you for the one you love and he must learn to change too.Before the break tell him that if you guys are to continue being together sacrifices must be made.He needs to be more affectionate because hes the only one you seek affection from.And you,chill out,dont be so rebellious,guys dont like that when it gets too much.
*Grudges ruin your life,and trust me it gets worse.Theres a quote that goes anger once fed is dead,tis starving makes it fat.It can kinda compare to grudges too,cuz grudges lead to hate.Once you get rid of your anger and grudges once they are small,itll be over and you wont feel them again,but if you leave them in you for a long time...theyll grow and become undefeatable.
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I think it was the right desicion for you to take a break with him. Maybe, this will be a new begining for you and your boyfriend.You should also consider telling him how you feel, and how it seems like he dosnt love you as much as you love him. And when you feel really mad and grudgy at him, think of a time when he has really made you happy, and dont talk to him untill your over whatever he made u mad about.
If there is a big problem between you and him, however, you should confront him
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Well Ms.whoever your name is first of all i agree withyou ok.He needs to start acting like ya are together and you need to stop with that attitude of yours. Now i see why he acting like that. if you stop with that attitude maybe he will stop acting like ya don't go out. you need to stop trying to turn things on him like its his fault and actually think that for once its yours.ok. now if u will stop the attitude he might stop that we aare not going out attitude,but you need to get ova what happened because thats the past and focus on how you are going to apolgize and try to make tings work. Take my advice and things should go well.
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What I think you should do is just try to put those things in the past and move on. Try to accept that everyone has their flaws, and makes mistakes. You won't be able to change him, so he's going to stay the way he is. I think you should tell him bluntly these little grudges, and see what he says. Try to make him promise you that he'll stop doing things that hurt you. Just be honest with him. =)
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Okay, first of all, I recommend seeing a shrink or someone of that sort. It's not that you are mental or anything, it's just because it seems you need a way to relief anger.
Or if that's not for you then try being optimistic. You don't have to be all preppy but think of how it could be worser. Be grateful [in other words].
If that isn't for you. Talk to your boyfriend. Tell him how you feel. Relationships are built on honesty.
Good Luck
♥ Mz.JENNiFER
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