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i hate my sister! she honestly doesn't care about my happine
ok i am usually good with my bros and siss but my younger one is a pain in the neck. my life seems to be the center of her life and she keeps butting into it. it got to a point where she went and bot those something for idiots books to teach herself about computers and to hack into my emails. i'm generally a good girl but last semester i kind of let go of the rope a bit and had fun, for the first time in my entire life! i'm over 21! but my parents are extremely strict... and i mean really really! i am not allowed to date until i am like married... (i know it sounds weired but you get use to it where i come from) anyway so i went out dancing one night as a farewell thing with the rest of my frnds who go their seprate ways and i never told her what i did. we live alone. i just sed dinner. the thing is she knws details! and i never ever told anyyyyone about it right.... the only ppl who knew are the friends who i was with and they hate her existance because she'd ruined our vecation in LA when we went on a college trip and i had to take her with or i wdnt go (it got so nasty she yelled and screamed infront of them called my parents and started shouting there are boys everywhere -they already knw that! thats not the case but its the fact she screamed infront of my frnds that was so bad!) anyway so now she knws that i got a bit wild that nite of dancing (nothing slutty or anything i just danced and hung out with my frnds...that wild :s) ..... the onlly person i emailed was my bestfrnd about that nite (she lives in japan) so i cdnt exactly call her (coz my sis eavesdrops) and i thot email was safe. i changed all my paswords after she told mum and dad about another thing (i told them the truth about it and i was very straight forward so she dsnt screw around! i got punished for it and i won't be finishing my education because of it but at least the heard it from me you knw??) but the fact she senses i wast afraid of her is i think what is driving her to find new info on me! i mean whats the matter with her! and why is she on my case!
she is tooooo conservative she doesnt even wear tshirts coz she thinks showing your shoulders is a sin. and she is so rude with everyone and she thinks the only right way is not associating with anyone "wrong". my parents are like her and i am even shocked to say abit lesser than her! (but not so that i could talk to them rationally) i wouldnt be surprised if she was in some kind of terrorist group later in the future! i mean one of my closest friends is gay and the other a lesbian and she attacks them like no tomorow! and pretends not to see them when they pass by. i tried to open up to her but but she attacks me and i don't want to get beaten emotionaly all the time already my parents do that as is.... plus its not like she is unhappy! she likes how she lives (and if you ask me she lives miserably she refuses to go to classes coz she says she shouldn't go out alone!) i don't know what to do! i mean i want my parents to trust me but i don't want to live like her! i get good grades i am well like by almost everyone i knw.... i don't knw what to do!
and i can't find out how she is finding this info on me! and i don't even know why she is doing this! she's nineteen for heavens sake shouldn't she get a life!
please tell me how to handle this. (talking to my parents isn't an option because they'll think of what i did as wrong and forget how she got the info and how she butts into my life! and so is talking to her) honestly i need help i don't my fiance to think i am a weirdo like her. and my parents don't help either.. she is willing to make up stuff to make him angrey at me... i dont know what to do! :'(
sorry this is long but i don't knw who to turn too...
i need a plan i seriously need one with out having to sacrifice myself or what i did to get here! i just need to shut her up until i move away and my older siblings become her problem!
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The issue here isn't your sister actually. Just about every sister makes problems for their sisters. The problem is actually your parents. You can't have people controlling your life this much at your age. Your sister isn't doing anything but being inconsiderate of you. Your parents are completely controlling you and it's completely unacceptable. When it gets to the point where you can't finish your education it has gone wayyy too far. You need to finish your education by any means necessary. That's really important for your future. My advice for you is to take legal action and become independent from your parents. When you are independent, they won't be able to control you anymore. It may be hard emotionally, but you are at a point in your life where you need to start making decisions for yourself and become an adult. If the reason you can't continue your education is because your parents cut off the money, being independent would help there as well. Only your financial information would be included in how much financial aid you would receive, so that you could afford it. It's time to grow up and if your family is preventing you from doing that, leave them. They are not looking out for your best interests anymore. The world is very different from when they were kids. You know what it's like and you know what you need to do in order to succeed. Take control of your life. You're 21 and you have a fiance! You're old enough to make it on your own and your fiance can help you. Good luck.
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Wow, that is a problem. I know what it is like to have a sister that hates you and undermines everything you do, and tries to get you in trouble all the time with your folks. Just to make her look good. Sounds like your sister is going to spend the rest of her life telling people how they should live their's. Hopefully you will be out of there soon. I just have one suggestions.....can't you go to Hot Mail, or Yahoo Mail and create a new email account? they are Free and you can have as many as you want. Then she would need your user ID and password to get in. Don't "save" your user ID or password on the computer. And then change it every month, or week if you have to. Not your email address, just the user ID and password that you need to get into your email account.
My second suggestion: Don't ever let her know that she gets to you. In other words don't let her see you sweat. That just gives her incentive to do more. One way that I have found that turns people around and makes them my friend instead of my enemy is "compliments". I pay them a complimment, (try to make it sound sincere) and that seems to change their attitude towards me. All people love flattery. Tell her you "admire" something about her. That almost always works.
If that doesn't work, then she is one tough cookie, who seems more like the "devil" to me, from your description, that a person of faith.
What happened to being charitable?
Hope this helps.
Michele
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