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How do I know he is in this relationship, truthfully?
At the beginning of my freshman year, I met this guy, who I was instantly drawn too, just completely head over heels. I made my feelings pretty clear, but he didn't feel the same way, so as time went by, we became really really good friends. After 5 months of being best friends, he asked me out. And we are so made for each other. We've been going out for 6 months now, and everything has been great, however, this past month, there's been a reoccuring problem I just CANT get off my back. He's kinda of a flirt and I'm the same way. There was this issue that we had recently with him and my good girlfriend and she is A BIG FLIRT. She's always rubbing up on him and trying to tempt him with baked goods. Then me and him got into this big huge thing about it. He told me I didn't need to worry and that, yeah, she's pretty, but he likes me for so much more than looks. So i realized I was overreacting and it was dropped. But, the part that has really been bugging me is that I waited so long for him to come around at the beginning of the year, I kept waiting and waiting. And i know he was reluctant in asking me out. It wasn't a SURE thing for him. It was just a "maybe it'll work out.", but for me it was automatic. So everytime I doubt him or myself being together, I go back to that feeling. He didn't pick me first, I wasn't his first choice and even when he did start to like me, he still wasn't sure if he was doing the right thing. How do I know those feelings aren't still hanging over his head? I know he loves me now, but does he like me? I never went through that stage where I knew he liked me and we did silly flirty things, because he asked me out over x-mas break. I NEED to trust him, I need to be more confident that he likes me. Some people say I'm overreacting, and some people say it's perfectly natural. It's been driving me insane. It's been 6 months and I still feel like I'm waiting for him to come around. What do I do?
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well sweetsz it sounds like you need your own personal counseling. you need a big talk with your bf. take him on a romantic date and really talk. not that straight out 'do like me' sort of thing. tell him how you really feel about him. then tell him whats trroubling you. and finally the questions come in. but make sure that he doesnt interupt you because yoy need to get this all out. ask him if he loves you finally. tears might get involved and heart aches might occur but it will all be worth it in the end when everything is where it should be. no jokes or laughing she be coming from him. if he does then he might not be as serious for you then you are for him.
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You should stop obsessing so much over the past and worry on the present. And anyway, he was reluctant asking you out... do you know this for a fact? And remember, he still asked you out. He would not have done this if he didn't like you or didn't like you enough to put forth any effort(unless you strongly feel that he was pressured into it, which you have not mentioned so I doubt this is the case). In a way, you're very lucky you were so sure of your feelings, and that he even reciprocated. Most people, even in relationships, aren't very sure about how they feel or know that the relationship will for sure work out for any number of reasons.
What is most important, however, is more how he feels about you now. If the fact that he is a flirt is bothering you, you need to talk to him about this and, if it feels more comfortable, both of you may wish to stop the flirting. If this problem is more about your best friend, tell her how you feel and to knock it off. If your description of what is going on is true, it doesn't seem that she is being very fair to you as a friend so you need to tell her this. Your insecurity about your bf liking you does seem overreactive... is he cold to you or does he generally like you... it could be you have your own security/self esteem issues to deal with.
If you really are worried, look at his behavior. Does he smile a lot at you, want to be with you... Honestly? From reading I got the impression that you were upset about something else, or just feeling down in general, and trying to pinpoint your feelings on your relationship. It's summative season. You're feeling a little insecure and that's normal for your age... and for summative season. Hell I'm procrastinating now and you probably are too. I think you should go study. Just to be ridiculously blunt and hypocritical... yeah I really don't think you should worry.
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