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I seriously need help, is this boy playing me?
Okay this is the deal I've been dating this guy for a month and a half now.. we've been really close. BTW I'm 14. I've been to his house he's been here.. I've met his family so and so. Last year we went out for 4 months but ended up breaking up beacause my friends were jerks. BUT ANWAYY....last night he called me like he usually does and asked me if we could take a break. I asked him why and he said because he has so much shit at the end of the year to do. He said because he has baseball, regions , tests, and doesnt want to deal with a girlfriend untill summer. Summer is 2 weeeks away and I like him a lot so I figured I would give him his space. But theres this girl down the road from him and once or twice while we were dating he would go hangout with her. I think he really wants to be with that girl and not me but when i asked him about it he got annoyed and told me of course he likes me and wants to go back out in 2 weeks when schools done. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO. I like him a LOT. he has been the best boyfriend I've ever had.
I'm so confused . HELP
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Why do chicks dig jerks?
Copyright © 1996 Drew Mcpherson
The human condition promotes learning through trial and error; it is a fatiguing and often frustrating means of education. Women are excellent teachers of the bitter lesson that being a nice guy does not get a man laid. An "average" guy (who is often the one most capable of love and trust) is routinely brushed off as a "loser", and passed over for an abusive jerk who screeches up in a Porsche, scores, and disappears. So in a woman's mind, if a man is nice, he's weak. The nice guy wanders through life in a state of psychic castration, his heart scarred by the talons of female avarice and flawed psychology. He is a poor fool who has listened too literally to the women who lie that what they want from men is adoration and understanding. He has not suffered enough trial and error to lay bare the clandestine agendas of the female gender. So the nice guy has to settle for the vicarious company of flirting with a photo in a magazine delivered in a plain brown wrapper. But what of the "bad boy" phenomenon? Every man knows, or has seen in action, that the more he abuses women, the more successful he will be in attracting them; and the nicer he is, the more likely he will wind up as a "friend". But most men are socialized to cultivate harmony, not discord, and so they refuse to participate in such pathology. Most men are nice guys, who have no interest in acting like jerks to women. Logic would suggest that a woman would want to avoid being brutalized, so why then does she so lustfully climb up on the back of a Harley, instead of, as usual, wait for a limo to appear? The answer has to be unraveled from the tangled mess of feminine psychology. What a woman really wants is a rich bastard who turns out in the end to be a nice guy-he is the storybook hero of her novels and soap operas. But she will settle-for the short term, at least-for a poor thug who can offer her excitement. In her muddled vision of the world, she equates abusive behavior with earning power, because she assumes that television and the movies actually mirror reality, so that successful men are always conniving, ruthless, and underhanded. Bad boys are untamed and reckless and charged with sexuality. They are a "challenge" (meaning that they don't instantly fall prey to her Pussy Power). Flexing their Neanderthal biceps they are apt to drag her off to the nearest cave, and she can feel-for once-powerless in their grip, a rape fantasy come to life. A woman's hormone-driven "logic" will equate excitement with money, at least until she tires of eating at taco joints. She glories in the sensation of raw adventure-it is the same thrill which ripples through her when a rich boyfriend pampers her and indulges her every whim. For as long as she dallies with the bad boy-and it will be brief because his budget is in his pants-she can afford to let herself be wild, to experience unfettered humanity, to freely express her sexuality as nature intended. For a few racing heartbeats she will cease to be a whore and become a human being. And when the fling is over, her "morality" has not been compromised in any way-she can reconstruct her delusional self-image by accusing the bad boy of abusing her.
The average woman is a spoiled child, a selfish and arrogant bundle of desires, raised to be a rapacious taker from men. By the age of 5 or 6 a little girl has learned to scramble up onto Daddy's lap and to manipulate him with flowing tears or a sly look or a downturned face. He responds by taking care of her every need. Daddy is only nobly trying to insulate his little girl from what he knows to be a hard world, but unfortunately he's green-lighting her future as an abuser of men. She has already begun to grasp the raw power of her femininity-by acting "female" she can get anything she wants from a man. For some reason these tactics don't seem to work very well on Mommy, so she understands that her power draws its energy from the opposite gender. By the time her breasts begin to swell and her figure rounds into soft curves, she's discovered exactly how this power works. She is well aware of the effect she has on the boys around her, how much they seem to lust after her ripening body. The more they want her, the more she realizes the value of her commodity. She exults in her new-found strength, sensing its awesome potential, and even chuckles haughtily to herself at the boys who ogle her when she wiggles by. She understands that she is in control-this is something she can use to her advantage. It is the birth of an attitude which will ruin normal relationships with men for the rest of her life.
Meanwhile, Mom and Church, witnessing the verge of her womanhood, begin to instruct her to withhold sex, sermonizing that her body is a "gift" which she must save to give to "someone special". But it's too late. She's already learned that it's not a gift, but stock in trade-boys are waiting in line to bring her presents and compete for her attention. She really doesn't understand what all the fuss is about, why they are so intent on "getting into her pants". She has already assimilated the knowledge that her body is a tool, to be used for gain, not pleasure. Her mother continually warns her that "nice girls don't", and the more she holds out, the bigger the pile of presents grows. She doesn't realize that "nice girls don't" is just a euphemism for dishonest prostitution; that as she flirts and sticks out her breasts and wears sexually provocative clothing she is exchanging the promise of sex for gifts (money). And Mom is frantic to make sure that she remains a "good girl" (dishonest whore), so she teaches her that if a boy really likes you, he'll: take you out (spend money on you); date you exclusively (he's willing to let you train him, and he won't be wasting the resources he could be giving to you on other girls); and not demand sex in return (play the game by your rules, so that you can extort as much money as possible from him without obligation before surrendering your "gift", if you do at all). Mom is teaching her that for women, love is power; for men, it is enslavement. The greater a man's sexual needs, the more obedient he will be forced to become. If she manages her "gift" astutely, the payoff will be a lifetime of ease without her ever having to lift a finger.
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Well, if he likes this other girl, unfortunately there's nothing you can do about it. Telling you that he needs a break because he's busy might just seem like a nicer way to break things off than admitting he likes someone else. But you never know, he could be telling the truth. You might just have to wait the two weeks and see what happens. But if it's going to make you miserable waiting those two weeks, then talk to him about it now. Tell him that you really need him to be honest with you... that if he really doesn't plan to get back with you, it would be nicer and more fair if he'll just admit it to you, instead of dragging it out and making you wait and wonder. Hopefully he'll be honest with you, either way.
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its ok if you give him space but its not like your gonna hold him down and strangle him or something.I think you should give him space so it doesnt seem like your obsesed with him and then see what happens in the summer.If he gets back with u then great!he was really stressed after all.If he doesnt then to HELL with him.And watch after that hell come crying back to you and youll dump him like he did if he does
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hi..
personally, i think you should just give him his space.. if he said that hes going to go out with you when summer sarts chances are he probably will. he probably just needs a little space to finish out the year without to many distractions. dont worry about the girl down the road.. if he really likes you, she wont get in the way. but make sure that you dont act too desperate or like you absolutly need him. make sure that he knows your doing fine without him and can hold out until summer.. im sure that everything will work out with you and him.. it sounds like you guys both really like eachother and im sure that he'll come around and want to be with you by the time summer comes.. hope i helped :)
meg xo
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he shouldnt get mad your just worried. if he wants to take a break then thats OK. summer is just 2 weeks away. try talking to the other girl and see what she has to say. talk to your bf alot to show him your not boring. give him no reason to like another. after all it is only for 2 weeks sweetsz
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