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ugh, more as friends
I've been going out with my boyfriend for over a year [1yr3m] and face it, it's not the same. I love him as a friend, but I really don't think I feel anything relationship-wise with him. I really don't want to go out anymore because I feel like I'm just putting on an act, and he can tell that it's not the same anymore because I'm not as touchy anymore and I don't show much emotion at all. My friends know that I can't really stand him as a boyfriend anymore. It's just that everything he does annoys me, and it's not his fault, it's mine. I just want to move on and just be friends. But I can't find the nerve to do it, because it's so tough because we've been going out for so long and he's probably one of the few people that I can tell almost anything to and I feel myself around. First question: How can I build up the courage to actually do it? Tips please?
Second Question: We went on a break around Christmas (I enforced it) I was like' I don't want to go out anymore' and he thought it was just a break. Throughout the whole break he kept asking what he did wrong. He didn't do ANYTHING!, it's just not the same anymore. He just keeps saying 'there has to be a reason, things don't just change like that ..how can you just all of a sudden stop liking me' It's things like that that I don't know what to say to. I hate how I have to explain everything, but I guess he deserves it. How can I answer all these questions? It's not like he did anything, it was just the relationship lost it's spark. If I said that, he just DOESN'T GET IT! He keeps asking what happened, even if there wasn't a specific event. How can I get it through his mind that he didn't do anything wrong, and what can I say without sounded like a complete bitch (even though dumping somebody is bitchy).
It's not like I want to, (even though I do) but it's more like I need to, because I'm not happy, and I'm not acting happy around him which doesn't make him happy.
Any relationship advice, personal experiences would help me so much.
<3333
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questioon1: well it seems that you have the standard 'love you like a brother' syndrom. many couples have it. its the result of too much together time. so maybe your feeling suffocated. so im thinking the best thing to do is to get some alone time. tell him that you need space. this information might hurt him and you both. but if your feeling so bad about this whole relationship you'll know deep down thats its the right thing to do. but make sure you tell him that your still interested in being friends. that might annoy him and he might not give you an answer right away but eventually you'll be friends again and happeier.
question 2: well it seems you've already broke up with him. well remember you dont have to answer these questions. tell him you fell like a brother. (that might make him feel better because even though your not together anymore, it would comfort him to know that you still consider him to be close)
hope that helped! if u have any more question just ask me whenever on whatever. tell others too =) [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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Simple. Tell him Johnny my heart does not feel any passion love for you anymore. It died.. but I will remember the great times we had....
bye...I guess I was not in love....
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i had that same feeling at one point with my man.. but you sound really determined and your not happy. i totally understand. so i honestly think you need to do it in person, nicely, calmly, and just know hes gunna be hurt im sure so dont give in because you could get side tract and end up in the same position all over again.
just tell him "i really dont feel as if i love you as my boyfriend, its become love for a great guy friend. we need to experience new people, new relationships and everything because i honestly am not as happy as i was from day one. you didnt do anything i just have that feeling, and i want to tell you because i dont want you to think im okay when im not okay. i know i can tell you these things because your a good listener, and thats what makes you an awesome friend.." hopefully there isnt exactly someone just yet, so tell him that its not like your done with him BEACUSE OF someone else.. that way he doesnt keep thinking that he might not be a good guy, or he might think he doesnt do things right..( telling him that will ease the pressure of you having to keep answering that question lol)
and let him know "if you really care about me then you'll want me to be happy right?"
thennn if he still insists that you guys cant break up and what not.. just tell him "im sorry but we just cant be together" and if it comes down to it hang up or leave.. the day will come again when you two will talk and he will be over it and you guys can still be friends..
best of luck dearrr. it will all work out just be STRONG girl! (:
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How can you build up the courage to actually do it? Well, its deffinitly tough to let someone that loves you that your not feeling the same way anymore. Just let him know that theres honestly no way to tell him, he just has to respect what you want. He seems like a good guy to keep around as a friend, so let him know that. If he doesnt get it, you dont have to explain it to him. I say sit him down, and let him know your dont want to be wih him anymore. Hope I helped! Good Luck, I'm sure it will be fine.
-Brina
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