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I love your advice so please help!
My best guy friend and I (16/f) have been getting in lots of fights, and it's because I'm so dependent on him. Well, ever since May I haven't been. I've been with other people, doing things, always busy, etc. I maybe hang out with him once a week, or two weeks. We never talk on the phone. But last night he went camping with 3 friends, and left me 3 voicemails. They're all talking about our friendship. He says things like, "I don't deserve a friend like you" and "you stick with me even though I treat you pretty poorly sometimes" and "i'd rather fight with you than anyone else" and "i feel like we're drifting, we need to hang out more". Yeah, that's just hitting the main things in each msg I guess.
What I'm asking is why did he do that? Why did he send msgs NOW about how he doesn't think he deserves me, and all the things I typed up there? You have to understand, I used to be very clingy, like, call him to see where he was, have to hang out with him like 4 times a week or more. Then for some reason in May, I felt he was drifting away from me (and I never want this) so I cut it out, and hung out with other people. I've barely talked to him, except yesterday, after I listened to his msgs. I just asked if he had anything else to say, etc, and he just said he wanted to talk to me about his problems. (Which is what he did in his msgs I guess) He also told me when I called him back, that he feels it was too late to be telling me all that. (I guess because we don't see eachother as much or something?) Honestly, he has treated me very badly, and I've always been the most loyal and greatest friend to him. I HAVE recently, in May, started to not care so much. I rarely even think about him, and I used to every minute of every day.
So yeah, if anyone can tell me why all of a sudden he actually CARES about our friendship now please tell me, haha. I just need anything you can say because I'm confused.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Hello.
Thank you for wanting to ask me, I'm flattered. :]
Hmm, it seems like a simple case of not knowing what you had until it was gone. It happens all the time and from experience it seems to happen more to guys than it does to girls.
Since you was always around him and always calling him and pretty much always in contact he may only now have seen that although it was clingy and annoying sometimes it was also a sign if how much you liked him as a friend. The fact it all suddenly changed and you stopped - he may now have seen that and maybe even misses it in a way. You hadn't said in what way he was a bad friend to you so being away at camp and spending time with his friends he may have also learned a thing or two about what being friends really means so have realised how he was a bad friend to you whereas all you did was try to be there for him always.
Now that you don't cling to him so much and stuff I think he realised he lost an important part of your friendship. He just didn't realise what he had right there infront of him (in you and our friendship) until it was gone/changed and you moved on. How you go from here will really be up to you - you can try rebuild the friendship again but he may need to understand that it may never be exactly the same as before because you did move on (other friends and such).
Hope I was able to help a little. Good luck. :]
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