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No talk? (LONG SORRY)
Sorry for the length please consider helping me.
So I started going out with this guy Tony from school. Tony is a stubborn and cautious guy, of anything, not just girls. He has this wall, like mine, just way stronger, he says it's to keep from hurting anyone, not getting hurt. Well we started going out, we fought about it on Friday but we finally started going out. I didn't see him/talk to him over the weekend at all so I sent him a message on Facebook and I said, " I miss you. =] " and his response was, " ok...so how did your weekend go. " I just responded back as quickly as possible and my message back to him was,
" Uhm thanks for not saying it back.
It sucks cause I thought about you all weekend.
So yeah
How was yours?
Are you still gonna hang out w/ me tomorrow? "
Well today he didn't hang out with me but when we were friends he did all the time in the morning, he also gave me hugs, but today he didn't, don't know why. He usually talks to me a lot at lunch since we have both lunches together, and I sit on his lap all the time, even when we were friends. Today I came over and sat by him and he got up and walked away. Some kids locked him out of school so I opened the door for him and he just walked past me. He didn't say hi to me even, just completely ignored me. He came over by the group of girls I was with, looked at Melanie ( his friend/ my friend ) and looked at Karen, and walked away. No eye contact between me and him. After lunch, as we're going to class, I was going to stop him and ask him what was going on, he just stormed off. Said not one word to me all day. Did I do something wrong... Is he mad at me? What's going on?
I care about him a lot. I don't care how much I go through to get his trust (he says I already have it) but I don't know what to do.
I'm really sorry for the length...please consider helping me if you can in anyway.
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hes trying not to get hurt
but that dosent mean he has to be rude!!
wow that is definately now okay
call him and confront him
ask him why hes acting this way
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He probably doesn't know how to act around you now that you're together, but he has no right to act the way he did. The "he says it's to keep from hurting anyone, not getting hurt" is bullshit, no one puts up their guard to keep from hurting someone, they do it to keep from getting hurt. Maybe he was hurt by someone in the past? Hence the "wall".
To be in a relationship you have to be able to trust the person, and the only way to gain a person's trust is by earning it. So show him he can trust you by never doing anything to lose his trust. You need to talk to him and find out why he acted the way he did, because you can't fix anything until you know what's broken.
If you had his trust he wouldn't be guarded around you. I'm not saying he doesn't trust you somewhat, i'm just saying you probably don't have all of his trust...yet. So, once again, wait until he cools down and then talk to him. Another big part of relationships is communication, you have to be able to talk to each other and be honest. Tell your boyfriend everything you wrote down on this site, tell him exactly what you feel. That's another way of showing him he can trust you.
Honestly...it sounds like he's just afraid of being hurt and doesn't know how to act or if he should fully let down his guard around you and take a leap of faith. Maybe he just needs time to think.
Good Luck with your relationship.
::Jasmine::
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The best thing for you to do is get him to talk to him. That means just walking up to him and saying we need to talk. Don't try to make a lot of comotion though, just calmly ask him why he's ignoring you. If you want to have a good relationship, you're going to have to make more effort, even though it seems like you already are.
If you know you don't have his trust, make sure to bring that up. Make sure not to call him a liar or antying, because that will just make everything more tense. Just ask him, "if i have your trust, why donn't you act like it?"
Make it clear to him that you really like him and want this to continue, but he's going to have to put effort in it. If he's not willing, he's not worth your time.
<3
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talk to him, send him a msg on facebook, or call him. if he doesnt wanna listen then hes not worth your time and consider it over. maybe try tslkin to one of his friends to see if you did anything wrong or to upset him
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