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How do i become a less obsesive boyfriend?
hi, i am a 19 year old guy and i have been dating my 17 year old girlfriend for a year and 3 months. when we started dating everything was awesome and we spent all of our free time together and now i have realized that i have taken her away from her frinds and family. this is the last thing i want to do. friends and family are so important in your life that i would never want to take them away from her. we both just recently realized that we need to give each other a little more space. i have no problem with doing this but whenever im not with her i find myself calling her and texting her a ton. i feel like i should know exactly what she is doing and who she is doing it with at all times and i know that this isnt right. it has made our relationship worse. neither of us have ever lied to the other and i trust her completly but i cant seem to just back off and let her go do what she wants. i feel like i am obsesive and i need help to get over this. we both love each other more than anything and i am willing to try anything to make her happy again. like i said i love her more than anything and dont want to push her away because of this. what do i do?
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It's good that you're admitting that there's a problem here, that's a big first step.
You need to find a way to distract yourself while she's out with her friends. If you don't have your own friends, hobbies, things to do, and just sit around being bored when she's not around, then you're definitely going to obsess because there's nothing else to think about.
Another thing you can do is pick a day or two out of the week, like Tuesdays and Thursdays, where you promise to have no contact. When you see each other the next day it might be fun to talk about what you did on your "day off" from one another... it's make both of you more interesting people.
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You need to start going out with your own friends too so you can think about something else. When you think about calling her or texting her, call someone else instead. Try calling a parent or a friend just to say hi and ask them what they're up to. You will get so wrapped up in what they're saying that you will release some of your adamency to call your girlfriend. Just make sure you call someone who talks a lot.
You have to realize that she loves you to and would never betray you, so you have every right to trust her. If it's that important that you have to talk to her every day, just talk to her for about fifteen minutes and save the major stuff for when you guys hang out or go on a date.
When you talk for endless hours every single day, you're going to lose stuff to talk ABOUT. Give her and yourself some space and the time you spend together will be extra special.
I hope this works out for you!
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ok, you should just relize that she isnt doing anything wrong. You said u trust her,right? Well just try to remind ursef tht u trust her and dont want to push her away. I hope i hlpd.
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Hi.
I know exactly how you feel mate, I've been there more than once myself too. It takes time for any person to change who they are so you will need to give yourself time to adjust and change too. I know what you mean by you trusting her. Most girls do misunderstand because they think you don't trust them when it's usually not the way. It's more not trusting those around them (lets face it guys know how guys can be and how most guys feel a girl that's already taken is a nice 'challenge'). All I will say is that your fear you have of how it will/is pushing her away is very true. If you continue this it WILL push her away more and more until she decides she can't take it anymore and it will just becomes a barrier between you both.
You said already you trust her though so trust her to be able to tell guys to get lost if they do try anything (it was one of the mistakes I had made in another relationship which went sour because I pushed her away and it started with how things are with you at the moment). Don't totally cut off contact or anything but ration your messages to her and let her have her space with her friends and family while you also do the same. As long as you don't flood her with questions about who she's with and what she's doing all the time it will be a really good start. It may be a good idea to try and talk to her about this but make sure its face to face and not over the phone and just let her know you're sorry about how you've been acting but it's not you and it will change but she just needs to be patient with you. If you get stuck on how to explain things then show her what you've written above. :] As long as she understands it's a good and from what you've said you both have I think she will understand.
You can do it, just remember you're doing it to save your relationship with her so as not to push her away. I won't lie by saying it's easy because it won't be but you can do it. :] Good luck dude and I really hope everything gets sorted out.
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try not to spend soo... much time with her. && when you do try to involve HER friends and HER family :] and when your not with her... hang out withyour friends, and have fun.
if you trust her then you shouldn`t care what she does. a relationship i based on trust. so if you botth can trust each other, then try doing things on your own for a minute. i mean it`s good that you wanna do things with her, but sometimes when you see each other so much, it gets old. ya know ? it`s like painting a room, @ first you enjoy and have fun, being goofy with the rollers && paint. but then after an hour or so, your arms get tired and lazy. does that make sense?
sorry if i didn`t help at all, but this is just what i think will make it work out somewhat.
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