|
i wanna leave. please help me. my mom has gone too far
this is a bit long but its very important. my mom has got to the point where im never home and i want to move out but im only 15. and i need help dealing with all of this. i know its long but i need the help. im crying everynight because of her.ok so heres the deal. i have posted questions like these before but htat was like last summerish to a year ago. and i always got the same answer saying oh talk to her and tell her how you feel. but thats not an option! ok so heres the problem...MY MOM! its liek the evil step mother and then the good daughter. except shes my mother. its horrible. so heres the deal i have 2 older sisters. ones a half sister because my dad was married before my mom and had a child and then they had me and my sister when my mom and dad got married. my dads daughter lived with us until she was like 18 i guess? then she ran away. and to be honest thats how im going to be. and im not even lying. the first chance i get to leave im going. ok so the first child my mom and dad had together was born premature. she was about 5 months early. she has Cerebral Palsy. a disability. i love my sister. i treat her as if there is nothing wrong with her. i treat her like a normal kid. but my mom doesnt. she favors my sister to the extreme. my sister is the little angel. if my sister does something wrong she never gets in trouble. but i f i do anything i get in so much trouble. even if its the right thing. all of my friends feel horrible for me like my sister doesnt need to be favored. my sister even tells my mom this. shes like mommy give my sister more attention. but my mom is liek i give her enough attention. well i hate my mom. i seriously do. if she tells me to do something..i do it. but i get in trouble for doing it. and if i do something wrong i get in trouble. so im never not in trouble. so im to the point where im never home. im constantly in fights with my mom. and my friends are over half the time. and the fights just randomly happen. like i will be helping my mom on the computer. and hten she would say carissa why do you have such an attitude? im like what? shes like your totally ignoring me i mean im asking you to help me nad your just doing it. and im like ok sorry. and sehs like whats that attitude for again? im liek what attitude? and shes liek that one! andi mlike forget it let me just show you. and she was asking how to copy and paste and i showed her and then she keeps saying like god i dont understand why you cna t just show me right away. and then im like what? and then it would get in this fight because then right there i would be like mom why do you always do this? like tell me to do things but then dont appreciate how im helping? then she gets pissed at me and we just start yelling and its just really annoying me.and she tells me to hang out with m ysister and include her in things and i do. but i get in trouble becuase my moms like i dont want you doing that stuff when your with your friends and you take joanna. and im liek well thats what we do. and then like i'll be like fine i wont hang out with m ysister with my friends. then liek my mom always yells at me for not hanging out with her but when i do she yells at me. i mean im not going to sit down with my friends and play scrabble for 5 hours. and my sister can do what i do. but my mom treats her like a baby. and i cant count on my mom or anything. i mean she never buys me clothes. she never bought me a bra. so i have to buy my own and there really expensive and i dont have a job yet because im too young. so by the time i save up for one i get it. but then i only have one bra because i cant get another. liek its seriously annoying. and one time i was with m yfriend and i was buying them and my moms like why are you buying these? and im like i need them and hses like no you dont you have plenty. this is only the little stuff. i mean its so bad. i mean i end the day crying in my room because of her. andi go to tlak to her about it and she just yells at me saying thats not true. liek talking to her isnt an option. and im actually trying not to tlak to her. im sick of fighting everyday. and its really annoying. i mean i look at my friends and there like best friends with their moms and i wanna cry because i cant have that relationship with my mom. i mean i told my closest friend im like im turning out like my toher sister. im ready to leave. and my friends like i know how hard it is for you and she supports me and helps me. but i mean after college im out of here. my mom wont ever see me again. i dont want to talk to her. like my mom loves me but she doesnt show it. i hate my mom. its not a lie. shes horrible! and like i told her im liek if your not going to listen to what im trying to tell you i want to go to a counselor maybe she will help me and our family. and my dad does nothing because hes at work all day so he doesnt believe its htat bad. and when hes homee all day im not home. and im always getting in trouble. im crying as im writing this. and i have no idea what to do. help me please. i have no one but my friends and my half sister. there the only ones that know what im going through. my mom doesnt believe what im saying. and she wont take me to a couselor like a family one or whatever. i need help. please its so hard for a teenage girl to go through life without someone there who can help them with advice. i mean i have to deal with heartbreaks with only my friends to support me and everything i have to do so much. please help me.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Your mom is fucked up, chacnes are she suffers from some emotional problems. If you are that desperate to get away from her, I'd reocmmend talking to your school counselor. They will immediately contact child services and there is a good chance they'll pay your mom a visit.
They'll pretty much warn your mom and tell her to be better to you. If she doesn't listen, you can file another complaint and you might end up in a foster home, along with your sister. If you do end up in a foster home, chances are you'll be together with your sister. I don't think child services splits siblings apart too often.
One other thing, try to get your mom to seek therapy somehow, because she is one fucked up bitch.
]
I AM SO SORRY. about this. oi really am. if you ever eed me i am here to help you with whatevver. you see i am 15 also, and me and my mom dont get along eiher. and i hate seeing all of my friends actually getting along wih their mom. they are the lucky ones! go to a school counselor and tell him you need help. aslo you can ask your dad for money and go to a counselor that can help you with your problems you dont need your moms permission go on ur own time. also, if you can get the money go to your friends ask them to lend you money and to please let you pay them back whenever you can. dont run away at this age you wont be able to support yourself on your own please. dont do that. maybe your mom is just overwelmed with stress.. also try not to talk to her or give her dirty looks. if she asks you a question answer but dont give her looks she will get anything to argue about. if she askes you a question answer poilitly, she will notice after some time that youre trying hard not to fight with her and she will notice that she is the one whose always fighing with you. prove her wrong. jsut please really dont run away. if you need anything i have a screenname its blackluna7111@aim.com and i will help you. i know how you feel. if you need anything send em a mail in my inbox
i really truely wish you good luck right now and in the future
love,
johanny
]
Hi.
I'm sorry about what you are going through, I really am. I was reading it through and I felt really bad because I could tell from your words how hurt you must feel while writingall of this.
First thing though is that it's good you want to try and seek out help to try and deal with things but I want to say right now, running away is not an option so please don't resort to something like that. If you think things are bad at the moment living on the streets (especially being a teenage girl) are a LOT worse and can get so much worse very, very quickly.
First things first though - since your mom wont take you to see or go and see a couselor with you to resolve these problems I suggest starting at school. I was under the impression that a lot of schools in the US (if that's where you are) have couselors available for students to talk to so that would be the best place to start. Find out if your school does and if you are not sure how to find out ask a trusted teacher you can talk to about a school couselor and how you'd like to talk to one as soon as you can. They will be in a position to be able to help you and your family a lot more directly than I can hopefully.
As for things at home, I think next time your mom asks you something to do try and help out and such but if she does start to try and have a fight with you just don't respond or give into it. Basicly, avoid pouring fuel onto the already burning fire that's there to make it worse. It might be hard to try and ignore all the abuse and such yourmom throws at you but try not to lose your temper and get into a shouting contest.
I'm not sure why your mom is actually being this way with you but the only thing I can think of is that she's under some major stress with everything that's going on and since she sees your sister as someone special she feels the only person around the house who she can take out all her frustrations and anger out on is you. As for the whle thing with the buying a bra that is not excusable at all and I think it's really bad that you have to save up money just to be able to buy one for yourself. That's just not right especially since, as you said, you're not old enough to work yet.
Just try and hang in there k, things will work out and things will be okay. Go with the advice I gave about trying to finda couselor at school that you can talk to becuase that will be a big help. If they feel there is a serious problem then I imagine they will try and get your mom involved as well so you can sort these issues out. It might be scary to think that your mom may find out you've been seeing a school couselor and such but you also need to understand the only way your mom will improve and things will get better (like that perfect relationship you so want with your mom) is if your mom actually realises how much she is mentally hurting you with what she is doing and it may hit home more if it comes from a couselor who's been talking to you.
I hope it all works out with you. One my cousins has an awesome relationship with his parents and whenever I see them all I always wish that my relationship could be like theirs when it comes to my parents because it's not even close. It's not as bad as your situation but it's not exactly the best of relationships out there so I know how you wish to improve it. Just hang in there because things will work out. Let me know how things go and anytime at all that you want to chat or if you feel depressed and need to talk feel free to write.
]
More Questions: |