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SMOTHERED!
ahh ok where to start.. 16/f and 17/m.. well ive been with him about 10 months. and i love him i really do, but i cant freaking breath anymore! ive felt this way for awhile. i just need some space man. but its like hes soo dependent on me.. like im his oxygen or something. we go to diff. schools, so i talk to him in the mornin, after school if were not workin, and at night. we used to talk for hours and hours, but now, i just want some chill time ya kno. so now i might talk to him for 30-45 minutes, and then be like ill call you back later or somethin, and he'll give me the whole "you dont wanna talk to me anymore" guilt trip deal.. or else he'll be like where are you going?? [another thing.. i HATE being soo invaded.. its always "what are you doing, where are you going, who are you talking to".. and he doesnt give up until i answer.. i mean honestly, privacy anyone? but then if im like "i dont have to tell you everything" then hes like "i didnt say you had to" but when you keep pushin me like that.. then uh hellooo]. also, sometimes when i say ill call him back, a few hours will roll around and he'll call me back and be like im sorry but i was going crazy i had to talk to you. AHH. or if he does actually wait till i call him then hes all moody and bitter bc "i didnt wanna talk to him" or wtfe. or else he`ll answer and in stead of hello its "...finally". this isnt a once in a blue moon things its ALL the dang time. i feel so suffocated! and talking to him really does a whole lotta nothing.. ughh wut can i do before i go crazy?
btw.. no breakin up.. i dont want that.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I don't see many solutions other than the ovbious: talk to him
I know that you are probably hesitant to tell him to back off when he's such a dependant guy, but it's an approach that you haven't seemed to go for yet. Just be honest with him, and tell him that you need your space. Don't worry- there're nice ways to say it!
I would begin by letting him know how much you care for him and that you are really glad to be dating him. Then just tell him what you've been going through (all of the things that you listed in your question) You could make it sound complementary by saying things like, "When I don't see you for a while, it only increases how much I love you, because I start to miss you!" If he is angry because he thinks that you are annoyed with him, then his only solution is give you some space.
Also, try organizing fun and private things to do together- you could like set aside one day every other week or so when you just spend the whole day together. Planning stuff like this could make him feel more wanted.
Good luck!
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Ello.
I think he's going for a serious relationship...talk to him about it. Try doing the same for him and see what he's going to say.
Or it could be a matter of time. Maybe he's jealous of some other guy friend (?) or worried or doubtful (possibly). Ask what's bothering him.
I'm sure he has a good reason to be protective like this. Maybe he heard stuff from others about you? Misunderstood something?...
Good luck.
Kay.
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Hi. :)
Well, to be honest I don't think you need any advice from anyone on here, hehe. I think the only thing I need to say is, "Talk to him about it and tell him what you told me." :]
I totally understand where you're coming from though because one of my ex's was just like this and after a while I felt like I was being suffocated and eventually it caused me to start pushing her away more and more because of it. I mean I like it when someones clingy, it doesn't bother me because it's sweet in some ways (shows they really want me etc) but overdoing it can be very off-putting.
I think you should talk to him about it and tell him how you feel and NOT let him guilt trip you anymore. To some extent the whole questions about where you're going etc, etc, etc is almost an indication of paranoia. To what ends though; your guess would be as good as mine. Just talking to him may solve the problem.
As for you wanting some space - everyone needs time away from things and people. It happens. Doesn't mean you don't love them anymore it just means you need some space to yourself. So explain this to him and tell him you need some space just for you to be able to get on with things without having him there constantly over your shoulders (so to speak). It doesn'tmean you're both breaking up or that your on a break (at least not the kind of break where people seem to think it's an open invitation to go out and do whatever they want because they 'on a break'). I'm sure you know what I mean though. :P Obviously if he understands the whole being smothered thing then you may not even need to resort to taking a break anyway, but it's an idea that's there incase you feel you need it. :)
Hope everything works out. :)
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