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off somewhere else
my bf is in a facility, they have 0 tolerance for violence of course. well tonight when i talked to him, he said he threw an 8 ball at a guy and got written up, this is his last chance, then he goes to jail for 2-7 years. i know for a fact he didn't really mean to do it. it was his reaction. he isn't a fighter, but how can i help him and if he goes to jail what do i do to cope with it.
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Unfortunately, you can't really do anything to control his actions. He needs to take responsibility for that.
He must be aware of the rules of the facility, and the consequences for breaking them. He is simply choosing to have his emotions overpower his intellect - which IS a difficult thing to deal with.
Of course I understand the longing to help and support him, but you really can release yourself from that responsibility. The true worry is one you have identified - how to cope if he is sent to prison.
You could choose to share with him how devestated you would be, as well as how difficult it must be for you to worry about him in the current situation. The fact is, in a strong relationship both people should be getting support.
How would you cope? Well, no one can answer that. People are amazingly strong and survive life-changing situations every day, but no one could ever predict how they would react to such a difficulty. I suppose you have to have a level of trust in yourself, as well as your relationship.
I wish you both the best.
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If he really cares about you, then he wouldn't cause more trouble by throwing an 8-ball at someone because of his "reaction". That's an illogical reason to hurt someone like that. I have a friend who has been in juvenile hall before, but he thinks before he acts. If your boyfriend is causing you so much stress, I suggest you find a new boyfriend. Your current boyfriend seems like a huge troublemaker.
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