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This guy i really like and he hates me.
So this guy that I talked to in the summer now hates me because I spilled a secret to his best friend, and my two best friends. I hate myself now for it, and I tried talking to him today. He said he didn't like me, I scared him, and a lot of other things. I don't know what to do, and I feel like my life is worthless. I've never felt like this about any guy before, and I don't know what to do. I can't forget about him. That's what people have been telling me, but I can't. What should I do about him, and my life? I feel like my life has no meaning whatsoever.
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This guy doesn't like you, and he made it clear. You need to move on & forget about him. He's not worth your time, you're not worth his, & you need to accept that. The faster you come to terms that he's not interested, the better it'll be for you. He doesn't like you, so you need to get over it & forget about him.
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Boy. I'm sorry that you base how meaningful your life is on some guy's opinion. What's the point in that? And, thank you, for not asking how to change his feelings, because I'm sure you already know you can't do that.
Sincerely apologize and hope for the best.
Let him know that you made a serious mistake and you are very sorry for that. Make sure he knows you meant no harm, and you are sorry you hurt him. Assure him of how awful you feel for telling others what he told you confidentially, and you are just sick that you shattered his trust in you by not keeping his secret. Tell him you sincerely hope that you can one day regain his trust, because you learned from your mistake, and feel that you can, in time, prove that he can trust you again.
But, in order for your apologies to be sincerely from your heart, you need to tell him these things in your own words, and in your own way. Otherwise, if you tell him word for word what I said, it would be sort of meaningless, because it came from my brain, and not your heart. Correct?
Now, when you give him your sincere apologies, be sure to do so in person, in private. If he lives nearby, go knock on his door. Catch him alone somewhere.
It's just not the appropriate time to talk to him about this if he is with friends, or if you are. He can't see your true feeling if you talk to him on the phone. It's completely empty if you talk to him via text or computer- not only can't he see your body language, but he can't even hear any sincerity in your voice.
So that is what I think you should do about him.
We all make mistakes. We all say and do things we regret. We all have hurt, disappointed, or lost the trust of someone. We have all lost a friend, either temporarily or for good, because of such mistakes. That is where we get a lot of learning accomplished in the area of "right and wrong" in the social part of our lives.
So never forget the lesson you have learned by being human and making a mistake. Realize that when we apologize, sometimes we aren't forgiven, and, in time, we all get over the loss.
That is what I think you should do about your life.
Now, if you go up to him to offer your apologies and he, A: tells you that you are not forgiven, to buzz off, he is done with you, then let him know that you had to get it off your chest, thank him for his time, and walk away. Don't argue your case- nothing like that. The time has come for you to go. Hope that he takes the time to think over what you said and forgives you.
OR, B: He refuses to listen, and says he no longer wishes to speak with you, then just walk away. Again, don't argue your case- he doesn't want to hear it, so you are wasting your breath, your time and his.
In any case, if you can at least apologize, it will help you feel better about it. Hopefully he will at least thank you for it, and better yet, take the time to consider it, and reconsider his opinion of you.
But, if he ends up doing as described in B, then you are by far the bigger person out of the deal. If he is unwilling to at least hear your apology, then he is a real jerk to begin with. Especially if he refuses to realize that you know you made a mistake, learned from it, are very sorry for it, and are big enough to admit it.
Like I said, you are only human. Just like he is. Just like the rest of us are.
Sorry this is so long, but I hope it helps your situation at least a little.
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Just go and talk to him. Apologize for spilling the secret and ask him if you two can start over fresh. If he doesn't respond the way you want him to just leave it alone. Remember there are a ton of other guys in the world. Try flirting with other boys and see if you can find someone you really like. Eventually you'll feelings will transfer over to the next guy and then you're fine.
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