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pain from being stereotyped by my family
Well I was born from Canada but my parents were originated from somewhere else. I didn't know how to speak english when I was born but as soon as I learned it in kindergarden I could talk english fluently but my brain just somehow forgot how to speak the language I was born with.
There was a school for people of my lanuage to learn how to write it but I couldn't learn it even though I really tried. Like everything the teacher said, I'll raise my hand up and say what does that mean? Like as if I wasn't even originated as that race. I'm 15 years old now and for 11 years I kept trying but I couldn't. It's like when I learned english I can't soeak anything else or get it in my head now.
It was pretty sad and akward at school sometimes throughout the whole year from grade 1 to grade 8 because people would be like OH COOL YOU'RE _____ HOW DO YOU SAY THIS IN ____? And I'd go "I dunno.." And some people would think something's wrong because I'm that race yet I can't speak the language.
My family and relatives go really hard on me. I can speak better english then they'll ever can and my marks are so academically high but they treat me really bad because I can't speak my language.
Up til now, my dad treats me very hard. My mom and I don't get along well but it has nothing to do with my disability but she doesnt' really care about it. My dad always went high about me and have so many high expectations and it hurts me so bad because I just work so hard with almost straight A's and everything just to please him but it just isn't enough. And a lot of times he won't talk to me because he's like I'M SORRY, I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU!
I knwo people who answer this will probaby be like, don't think about it or dont' take it seriously into heart but I do because it's such a big deal in my family for some reason and I guess it makes my family look bad. I have two younger siblings and because of me probably that's why they have the same problem as me.
Like right now my siblings are so young yet they're gonna go through the same trouble as me. Like if noone can help me, then atleast let a miracle come for my two siblings because I don't want them to go through the same thing as me because I'm almost pathetic to die right now: I'm ugly, othe rthen ym brain I have nothing really cuz I sacrificed the will to have friends for school to please my dad, bad hair, at my age half my hair is already filled with white hair, and more. But those tow have a good life ahead and they're happy and have friends.
I just don't know what to do anymore..and where we live there's no places really so no counciling and I can't drive and I dont' go outside so counciling isn't an option
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Hi.
I kinda know what you are going through. I was born in England but my parents are from India and so they can all speak their native language and write it and read it and so on but I have been raised in England and I consider myself as British so have never learned my parents native language.
At one point they did try to teach me and I was useless at it and they would get very frustrated but eventually they saw I was just not going to learn it and gave up on even trying. I can speak it now to a degree but I can't write or read it at all (I get the same problem with people askin me how do they say this and that and half the time I have no clue at all).
First though you need to relax and take a deep breath. Being a grade A student is something to be very proud of yourself in. I could only hope to ever being that good. The reason they are probably being so hard on you is because you are the eldest of the kids (it was that way with me). I mean my little brother could get away with murder but with me its a whole different story.
Don't do this all for them, do it for yourself! Be the very best you can for yourself and eventually when they decide to actually see what you have accomplished. They will take note how well you have done and what possibilities you have opened up for yourself and for your future. Also, don't say you have a disability. Not being able to learn a language is not a disability at all. Some people just can't do it and others can do it very easily, it's just one of those things.
Last but not least you do need friends. Don't sacrifice your childhood just for school and studying. I know to study and do good is important but making friends and having fun is just as important. Also, you're not ugly at all. You are obviously a very smart person and you have an awesome brain there. Someone who is so beautiful on the inside can never be ugly on the outside (although I don't consider anyone to be ugly at all).
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I realize you're young, and pleasing your dad is important, but you're stressing yourself out so much that you have white hair. You need to relax & loosen up.
I also realize you're worried about your younger siblings, BUT you can't worry about them. Because you have what you do, it doesn't mean they will too. Some people just have a harder time learning things. That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with them, but certain things don't come easy. They can excel in every other subject, but things like don't come as easy. It's fine.
My father never taught my Spanish when I was little & learning to talk. My main language is English. In 7th grade, I tried to learn Spanish, and I was alright at it, but it got harder for me, and I decided I wasn't meant to speak it. Yeah, I'll always have to be constantly asking "What are they talking about?" but if I can't do something, I'm not gonna keep trying. I'm not telling you to give up, but if something doesn't work for you no matter how hard you try, and how many times you try, you probably weren't meant to do it. I wasn't meant to speak Spanish.
Just keep doing what you're doing academically, get some friends & have fun. If your father can't accept you for you, then that's his own deal, & you shouldn't worry about it. Live your life, & stop worrying & stressing out. It's bad for you. You're 15 years old, you shouldn't have anything to worry about. Good luck!
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hey, thats not a healthy lifestyle at all. i wish i could help you more, but theres nothing really that you can do except call DSS. the problem with that is that youll get taken away and put into a foster home. im not sure if your ready for that or if you want that at all, but thats my only idea that would help you.
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