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not allowed to go to sleepovers
im so effin pissed at my parents. like really really really pissed. i even feel myself getting mad.. and i just came from crying my eyes out in my room. anyway, my parents for some retarded reason will not let me go to any of my friend's sleepovers. i've only slept over at my cousins' houses but my parents were there too.. so it wasnt really like you know.. "girls night with friends". and in 4th grade my friend had a sleepover.. and i couldnt go because my parents didnt like the idea. that sucked because i rarely get to see her in the year and she was one of my besties. and now im 13 in 7th grade and its the SAME THING!! my friends 13th bday party is a sleepover, and well i guess i could also go home and NOT sleep over there, but its also the date of some meeting my family goes too. its optional for me and my siblings though, so i dont wanna do go i can go to my friend's party. BUT NOOOO my parents wont let me. she lives like less than 10 mins away from me, near my middle school so it wont be that hard to find either. and i dont understand why they cant drop me there before and then like pick me up when they get back from their meeting, or have my friend's mom drive me home, since my other aunt stays home at my house too. BUT NOOO we cant have that either, parents. i even asked them.. i ask them occasioanlly and they just say their own STUPID reason which is "we dont believe in sleepovers". how GAY is that???? im sorry that im overreacting here but i just feel like cursing really badly and screaming. it makes no sense!!! whos parents "dont belive in sleepovers?" NOBODIES! except MINE! im african, like my parents directly came from cameroon, so i guess they werent used to doing stuff like that at their house. but like they even got to have pets.. a cat and dog, and here we arent even allowed to have a hamster because they dont think we can care for a little thing! (and i dont like fish). anyway, what could be the reason why my parents dont like sleepovers? is it the same with you? do you know anyone who has the same situation? can you think of a way how i can still go, because i told her that i could because i assumed my parents would just let me go this time because ive been acting pretty good this week and even tidied my room without them yelling at me and etc. i even thought that it was cause they didnt trust people who werent like their race.. like white people which my friend is.. but i havent even had sleepovers with my other african friends, so its nor that. or they think that the parents will rape us. oh my freakin god. there are several other girls at the party.. im sure someone will notice if somethings up. and i dont think every flippin person in this world is a sex offender.. and even if some are.. like why cant i just go to the party??? my mom said it wasnt because of that either.. and i asked her WHAT HER REASON WAS! i asked my dad too and he AGREES! WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY FAMILY??? WHY CANT THEY JUST LET ME GO TO THE EFFIN PARTY FOR ONCE!! I CANT LIVE MY LIFE NOT GOING TO ANY SLEEPOVER TILL IM LIKE OUT OF COLLEGE?? WTF I'LL BE IN WORK BY THEN!!!!!! THATS NOT THE SAME AS A "GIRLS NIGHT OUT" AND IM FED UP WITH MISSING FRIENDS SLEEPOVERS ALL THE TIME BECAUSE OF MY PARENTS NOT LETTING ME GO FOR NO EFFIN REASON!!!!
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Hey!
Well, this is an interesting situation. I actually know a lot of people who are affected by this rule, so just know you arent the only person who has strict parents.
Heres what I know from experience works to an extend. If you stay nice and calm and think of all of the points you want to make, and then make them in a way that doesnt make you sound like you take them for granted, you might get them to budge a bit.
You need to tell them that you understand their rule (even if you don't) and you want to abide by it, that you respect them and their rules. But you feel that you should be aloud to go to the party for a little while during the evening. See what they say to that. If they say no, then try and act calmly when the next one comes up.
If you are aloud to go for the evening. Ask the person hosting, if she can announce before the party that anyone who wants to go home can leave at a certain time, and that way you wont be the only one leaving at that time. Ask hosts in the future to have parties earlier in the evening, like starting at 4 or 5 and that way you still get to spend a lot of time with your friends.
When you're at the [arties dont talk about how you arent aloud to sleep over as if it were a big deal. Pretend you want to go home, and tell them that you hope they have fun, but you had a great time in the length of time you were there.
As far as hosting your own party. Ask youre parents if they will let you have a party that goes until 11 or 12 or something, and that everyone can go home but you can accomplish the same stuff as if you were sleeping over. Tell everyone to come in jamies and slippers. Tell them to bring pillows and make up and all of the other things you use at a sleep over. Watch scary movies or whatever, and then at midnight they can go home.
One day when there arent any sleepovers in the near future, ask your parents why they dont let you have sleepovers. Ask them to explain it to you, not just give you a "just cause" kinda of answer. Try not to object to what they say, just ask nicely and you can figure out why they see sleepovers that way and try to go around those details.
This whole situation is about how you handle yourself, if you go into it with a bad attitude you'll come out with less.
I know you're upset, and thats totally okay, and you need to blow off steam, but I think that if you use less CAPS LOCKS it might be easier for us to read. :)
I know this is tough, but sleepovers are only like a 1/8 out of all the parties you'll have in your life, so yeah it sucks sometimes to be left out, but there will be millions of great times during the day. So if your parents are impossible to sway, life will go on, it'll just be a little duller. :(
I hope I helpped answer your question let me know if you need more help, love ya,
Angie91
Also not to be mean to the person below me, but I think that if you try her suggestions, they might work, but I think that they will probably not and a calm approach to the situation will make you seem more mature, and it will help to show your parents that you are ready for this type of situation.
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awh, you poor thing.. did you try explaining to them that this was NORMAL here. everyone has sleepovers. not fair. maybe try to explain why you want to go so badly? i'm not sure why they wouldnt want you to go, maybe they just dont want you to grow up and have your own life.. maybe ask them something outragous like can i go out on a date with this guy? or can i get a tattoo? haha and then ask well can i at least go to my friends sleepoverrrrr PLEASEE? i dunno. good luck xxxx -sara
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