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my fucked up life
~13/f~ i know these questions on if he likes me or not are stupid and i probly wouldnt answer but he saved my life but am still confused. but PlEaSe read it and answer. im the kind of gothic rough girl and hes the kind of preppy nice guy.Im not sure how I like my friend bff or bf. Weve been really close friends for a long time then it started going to bffs. I tell him more than my other bffs and he tells more and were always there for each other. But then we flirt so much. people think or say were dating or should but were not. He knows I loved him I know he loved me but I have no idea now. I went to a paintball party. we flirt so much that’s what im so confused about. He was showing off and when we separated he was looking for me? hes just really too nice. Is that what it should be like. we used to be i guess rough to eachother but now hes just nicey nice.But now hes been wearing a lot of black and deppressed. Does that mean something. But then we do joke or do shoot each other on purpose. he was talking to my other friend about something ‘top secret’. later on she started truth or dare an old game i no. I kept doing truths I was just to nervous. He asked truth to me if id ever take a dare. Then my other friend asked truth to me if I loved him then truth to him if he loved me i said no then he said no. I regret it. Everyone already knew we liked eachother anyway but im just not sure if I like him bf or bff? And ive never kissed or been kissed. That’s what it was supposed to be...us kissing. I thought wed start taking it longer than just a ‘dare’ kiss. I like him both ways. I just am not sure whats wrong. Hes all I think and write about. my life is very messed up now and always has been i hate my life. i cut. he called right then and came over and found me bleeding so much and he stopped me from bleeding to death i was just going to lay there and die. then i realized how hed feel. how do you think I like him as a boyfriend(bf) or best friend(bff). How do you think he likes me? What should i do? he cried when i cut i cried when he saved me. ive only seen him cry twice now i dont cry and never could but i did. right when i was born i didnt even cry so they started doing tests on a 1 day old baby. before all this i even whent to the doctor for the 3rd time because i never cried they said i was missing some organ thingy i guess that i never could cry well probly not a organ but maybe.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
From what you write I can make out that you and your friend love each other. It just seems like none of you know in which way, and so it gets messy and confusing.
I have experienced almost the same thing; I once fell in love with an ol friend of mine. We'd been friends since forever, and I never thought of her as anything other than a friend. Then my love for her changed, like turning a switch. It was really confusing and in the beginning I got scared, hell, she was a sister to me. But actually we ended up as lovers. We're not together anymore, but we're still friends. See, it's important not to fuck up the friendship. Better to stay just friends, than start dating and then break up in tears. Make sure you could still be friends after an eventual break-up.
I think the reason it seems so messy, falling in love with your bff is that it's overwhelming and completely unexpected. If you've known him for long, it's feels like falling in love with a sibling, and so your mind tells you it's wrong, but I believe you'll just have to get used to the thought of being in love with your bff, and accept it.And it seems to me that he's also in love with you, at least, he loves you dearly ad is probably just as confused as you are right now. Just give it time, and see if the feelings grow or go back to normal.
And be careful not to rush at him, but give him time. You can try to maybe sometimes hold his hand or give him a lingering hug, then you'll find out if he's interested in being more than friends. If he keeps pulling back, you'll know he isn't interested, or maybe he's just not ready yet.
And for God's sake, don't cut yourself, I've had too many friends doo that! All I can say to comfort is, there's always better times to come, and even though life is sometimes worse than shit, it's still worth it all. Those who haven't experienced pain, will not know happiness when they come across it.
To me, it seems, the kind of romantic love that starts as a friendship, comes about for the right reasons. Then you know the guy doesn't want to abuse you, but that he really cares, that he's for real, and trust is so important. No love without trust.
I really hope I helped you, if there's anything you want better explained or other questions you want to ask, by all means, do so.
I wish you good lck with all my heart, and you, do feel blessed that you've found someone who really loves you. It's rare and precious, and worth the world.
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