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Commitment phobic?
This is going to sound completely rediculous but I honestly am starting to fear that I am incapable of having any sort of relationship. I am 19 and as of yet have no managed to survive more than 3 weeks with the same guy as the second anything starts to get serious I completely panic. What is wrong with me?
I don't blame any of these guys as they have all treated me very well, I wish I could have said the same. I have never cheated and never would but basically I feel like I lead them on and then just break it off, and as harsh as that sounds thats what I do without meaning to as I genuinely believe I really like them but then for some reason just completely switch off.
Recently another guy has come on the scene who I have liked for a while and I am really worried I am going to mess it up or stop liking him the second things start happening. I really would like to know if this is a normal thing or if I am completely derranged as this cycle has to stop as I am being totally unfair on these guys who don't deserve it.
My father also died when I was younger - do you think this has anything to do with it?
Any analysis would be great - am I a commitment phobic?
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It sounds like commitment phobia to me, and maybe your dad dying does have something to do with it. Maybe you're just not used to having a guy around? If you like all these guys you've broken it off with then you probably have a fear of commitment, or a fear that you might actually like them enough one day that you would put yourself in a position to be hurt by them. Make sense? I don't believe you can stop liking somebody that fast. So maybe your just making yourself believe that you don't like them anymore as an excuse to get out of the relationship before you really fall for someone, or before you get hurt. That's what I think.
I hope I helped.
- - Jasmine - -
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I'm 19 too, and I'd say that your behaviour is totally normal. You're just dating around to see who's out there, and find out what you like from a guy.
I used to be a lot like that until I met my current boyfriend, who is my Mr. Right.
You're not being unfair at all. You're just not ready for a committed relationship, and that's why this is happening. When you meet the right guy, you'll be ready to settle down and date him long-term. Until then, party on :)
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as wierd as it may sound, your father dying actually may have something to do with you not being able to have a good relationship with a guy. i'm sure its not something you can realize your'e doing, its psychological and your mind is telling you to steer clear of a relationship. i dont know you but i bet you have a lot of friends, especiallly girls and have no problem with them. but when your'e with guys you might act a different way because subconciously your'e afraid to get too attached adn then have him dump you. but you have to get over youre fear of being dumped and accept that it happens. not every relationship works out...thats why we date more thatn one guy! but you have to remember too, that if yoiu do find a guy that you like,(mabye the one youre intersested in now) you should stay with him unless you have a really good reason too leave. dont be afraid of a little rejection, it happens to the best of us!
good luck*
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