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So much stress...
19/F
I'm in a university program run at a college. Unfortunately, it's brand-new, so not all of the kinks have been smoothed out yet.
My exams start on the 12th, classes end on the 11th. I've got 2 on the 12th, 1 on the 13th, 16th, 17th and 18th.
I have a bunch of assignments due on Monday, none of which I've been able to start yet, because I've had too much work.
I just found out from one of my profs that APPARENTLY I've only handed in one lab out of 8 or so. He's going to accept my labs, but he'll take 50 percent off of each one, since they're 'late', even though my partner handed them in; he just forgot to write my name on them. When I found this out, I got so panicky that I ended up being sick.
A few nights ago, I stopped being able to sleep; I do everything I'm supposed to, but the stress is keeping my mind running like crazy. I had to go to the doctor's office and they put me on sleep aids.
I'm worried that I'm going to fail my one class, and if you fail even one class, you can't go into the next year.
I'm supporting myself financially, which is stressful enough, and I'm running into the end-of-year stretch. I've got a whopping 60 dollars in my bank account, can't ask my parents for help, and I have my phone bill, rent and groceries to pay for.
In addition to all of this, I've been helping friends through really difficult times, and dealing with seasonal affective disorder (S.A.D)
I'm so stressed out, and when I get stressed, I shut down. I haven't been able to do anything, and it only stresses me out more.
Any words of wisdom for a person who is literally making herself sick worrying?
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The first thing you need to do is tell your friends that while you want to help them and that you do support them that you cannot take their problems on and solve yours too. It's really inconsiderate of them to do this. You have to learn to say no to people first of all.
Secondly, you need to get out of the what if I fail? mode. It's not going to happen to you as long as you've been attending class and doing the assignments you already have the material in your head to recall on any exam you are given. Still you need to study and should devote 1-2 hours a night studying bits and pieces from each course until exam day.
Don't study everything about one thing as once. You only retain stuff you study for 30 minutes at a time and come back to later on. Also, this is key be sure to study before going to bed. Why? it'll be on your mind in the morning as your brain never stops processing.
If you use tommorow wisely you can still get your assignments done. Spend 1 on each and then do another one and come back throughout the day to do more until. You can pull it off as I've done it.
Now let's say you failed that course you are in. Many smart people are in that class and they to might and will fail. It's not going to happen to you but if it did it's not the end of the world. You can always do a course over again and return to do year 2 when you are ready to.
If you flunked out all it means is that this particular program at this school isn't going to work out. You can still study to become what you want to be but might have to do it at another school with a less intense workload.
Finally, your health comes before your studies or career. If you have S.A.D. and your health is suffering over all of this it's stupid to continue on. You might have to quit just to get your health in order as the stress can hurt you and land you in the hospital. Is anything worth that?
You cannot afford to shut down and fall apart. You need to put your health first. Here's what I would do corner your program coordinator and tell them you have S.A.D. and cannot function lately and are worried about your marks and year 2.
Ask them if they can allow you to leave the program and get your illness and life/stress taken care of and return to the program and complete it when you are better.
Trust me, I've seen them do this at community colleges all the time as they cannot stop someone's ability to continue over health issue that makes it so you are a wreck and cannt sleep/function.
Also if you are having trouble in your courses you can get tutors to help with the exams and special help and extra time to complete them in a non-stressful enviornment. It might help.
When it comes to money and creditors they cannot get cash from a well that is dry. All they can do is phone or write letters. Let the bills wait and use your money to pay the rent.
Call your parents and tell them what is going on with stress and health and that you are on pills and everything else.
Ask them to help with the rent and bills and you'll pay them back as soon as you earn more. Tell your friends in confidence and see if they'll hep with meals etc. They owe you as you helped them.
I know you will be okay. If it were me I would see to my health and arrange with your program coordinator to finish your courses at a later date. You won't loose your tuition money or suffer accademic penalty from what I recall.
You probably are doing better marks wise than you think and will make it through. However, if you are a wreck health wise and especially mental health wise GET OUT NOW. You don't need any part of a hospital over severe stress in combination with S.A.D.
There's no shame in failing, quitting for health or very good reasons as above. It will all be okay but you cannot do a thing without caring about you first and taking things a step at a time. The sky won't fall if you don't pass.
Your career hopes won't be over and you'll be able to go to college or do what you want in the end. It all works out. The stress is telling you something as is your gut instinct. The program is too much for you health wise I think.
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I think what you need is to relax. Go out and hang out with friends for an hour or two, or sit on the couch and watch your favorite movie with popcorn.
I have been in your exact situation. Having so much on your plate is, well, overwhelming, and although it may feel like the end of the world..it isn't.
Let's imagine the worst thing that could happen. You fail all of your classes, you end up losing your apartment, and you cannot attend the university next semester. To be honest, even if every fear of yours comes true, you would still have a friend or family member who would take you in. And, even though this thought might sound absolutely preposterous to you, you can attend a community college if you are unable to go to the same college again. Community colleges are inexpensive (you said money was a problem) and they accept people who have made mistakes in their academic careers. So, in the end, if the worst thing happens, you still have a bright future ahead. :)
But you still have to deal with your problems right now. What I suggest is go to your lab partner and have him/her tell your professor that you helped and deserve credit. If this doesn't work, I personally would do as many labs as I could, but not worry about them very much because it's your final exam that you should prepare for most.
Here is what you need to do. I would spend April 7th working on those labs and those labs only (if your professor doesn't accept your lab partner's labs). Then I would accept what labs are done and move on to studying for finals. On the 8th, do as many assignments as you can that are due on Monday. On April 9th, study for one of your finals that is on the 12th. On April 10th, study for the other final that you have on the 12th. On April 11th, make a list of the information you still don't know for the April 12th finals, and study that list. On April 12th, take your finals and study for the final on the 13th. On April 13th, take the final and RELAX. On April 14th, study for the final you have on the 16th. On April 15th, review for the final on the 16th, and if you have more time, start studying for the final on the 17th. On April 16th, study for the final on the 17th. And on April 17th, study for the final on the 18th.
So here is a bullet-style schedule that I recommend you follow:
April 7: Science labs.
April 8: Assignments that are due on Monday.
April 9: Study for 1 of your finals on the 12th.
April 10: Study for the other final on the 12th.
April 11: Review for both finals.
April 12: Take your first 2 finals and study for your final on the 13th.
April 13: Take the final and RELAX.
April 14: Study for the final on the 16th.
April 15: Review for the final on the 16th.
April 16: Take the final and study for the final on the 17th.
April 17: Take the final and study for the final on the 18th.
April 18: Take the final and have a party.
If you decide to follow that schedule, PLEASE do not stress over getting enough work done. Work, come home, study, and go to bed at 11pm at the latest. You need sleep more than anything for the next week or two. If at 11pm you are still working on assignments or studying and you have a lot left to do, say a prayer and go to sleep. At that point, there's nothing you can do.
That's another thing you should know. You are only human. You can't juggle a job and 6 exams. No one can.
Hopefully, you will have learned 2 lessons by the end of April. One, plan out what needs to get done and if you can't do it, at least you know you tried. And two, for goodness sake, don't take six classes at a time. If it means graduating a year late, so be it. Enjoy your college years.
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