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i SERIOSLY hate my life
13/f i used to be spoiled but now they do not care about me, mainly just my brother. i got along so good with my mom. now my mom is against everything i do. so im going gothic. but now im alot happier? exept with my family especially my mom! im just so happy in my room and around friends or at school. but then i even see my family i get VERY deppressed i just get very mad and cry and confused and have to just leave.but i hate her she says i do everything wrong! ~A~how do i change this i HATE it? i can not talk to her or get a theripist. ive been alot better now with headphones in all evanescence. she doesnt like my jewelery, clothes, friends, music, how i act and what i do. and its a fact. THE HOLE FRIENDS THING STARTED WITH MY HUGGING MY BEST FRIEND CUZ I WAS CRYIN SO HARD I HAD A SUICIDE THOUGHT. should i tell her i had a thought, someone i knew also just died from suicide i would probly get sent somewhere like rehab for deppressed people. she also wont let me go anywhere or be with guys. or my best friends. my main best friend is a guy. then im in a group with 5 girls and 2 other guys. so i sneek. shes taking away all i have. im deppressed enough as it is. my friends say shes the one making me deppressed. i sneek with guys and my friends. i have nothing without my friends. i say im at the mall with other people i could care less if she catches me but i want to be with my friends the only people in my life who i will talk to and have fun with. she HATES my friends becaus their gothic and my best friends because he a guy but hes preppy were in total oppasite groups we dont care. but im so mad and crying my head off! if i ask her she gets pissed so i cant ask ~B~how do i make it so i can go with my friends and guys. also tell me honestly anything you think i should do and any questions i forgot.
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Girl, you are going through puberty. Puberty is a very normal period of a persons life. Crazy throughts, crying for now reason, anger, hormones, questions, anxiety...
Also when you are at that age you got a lot of things going on in your mind. Friends, family, school, future...
Everything is normal to go through and everything will get better. Unless you go through a tough puberty. A tough puberty can really traumatize you. Meaning giving up and becoming a goth or an EMO and thinking about suicide and doing drugs and becoming bullimic or anorexic... tons of stuff that can mess you up. Please do your self a favor and be open minded. Do not label yourself and do not embrace such an extreme and hardcore way of life that is leading in to actually going deeper and deeper.
Unfortunatelly parents are not always right. And maybe she is not right. But honestly, if you are in a group of Goths then do not expect your mother to just let you go out. I wouldn t let my daughter hang out with such people either.
Why? Cause being gothic sucks. It is just dumb to adopt your look, your way of life, your clothing and finally your soul in the music you like to hear. You might kid yourself that Goths are normal people but picture this.
Would you like to get operated in a hospital by somebody who shows up in white maskara, black smokey eyes, has more holes on his left ear than 5 pounds of cheese and has a huge tatoo of a plate with eggs and bacong on his head instead of real hair? If the answer is yes, then I feel sorry for your mother.
Just dont drill any holes through your body, make any tatoos, cut yourself or suicide.
Added:
I missed the part were I said that I hate Goths. I dont hate Goths, people with Tatoos and piercings and all. Just as long as they were mature enough to proceed with that process in the first place. My best friend got her life ruined by her friends and she regrets every single moment spent with them. She used to dress up weird, use red and shaped contact lenses, cut herself and consider about suicide just because every person in her group did so. She har surgery to fix her ear since she had a hole the size of an apple on her ear coz at the time "she was...like..omg... I hate my life, my family and people who love and care for me.". She prefer hanging out with people who offered her drugs and pretty much MADE her take drugs. This people didn t even have REAL problems. Till they created their own.
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I know my answer is long but please read it, I really hope I can help because the issues you have really need to be addressed.
It seems that your mother is the cause of all these feelings - she doesn't understand you and you think she doesn't love you because you are different. Trust me, this is NOT the case.
It is just that you have changed so much in such a short time, that she suddenly doesn't know how to connect with you. She is worried (and rightly so, since you have been considering suicide) that the black clothes are a reflection of what you are feeling inside, and she feels powerless to do anything about it. You're 13, your mum still feels like you're her little child, of course she's going to be concerned and confused when you go from wearing cute tops and dresses to goth outfits and wild hair!
And I am NOT being patronising, I went through the exact same thing when I was about your age. There is nothing at all wrong with being goth or a bit different, but don't see it as an excuse to cut your mother out of your life or to look down on people who think in a different way. That's just another form of the prejudice that all individuals claim to hate, but seem to practice anyway. The best way to fix the problems in your life is to CONFRONT THEM.
Your mum is probably desperate for you to reach out to her and be her daughter again but you are not letting her - you lock yourself in your room, you retreat to your friends. How is she supposed to know what to say and what to do? We all put mothers on such high pedestals but they are just people, they're not always going to be able to understand what their children do.
PLEASE, go to her. Maybe without the goth-armour, as it is only going to be a barrier between the both of you. Just go and say mum, I know you don't like the person you think I am now but really, I am still the same girl, I'm your daughter and I'm a teenager and things are hard for me at the moment, but I do still need your help and support. I wish that we could talk more, and be close again. I want you to know that my choices aren't dangerous and my friends are good people, and it really is OK for me to be a bit different.
STOP lying to her because you are only making her feel more justified in not liking your friends. Maybe get her to meet some of your friends at your house and talk to them, if they can bring themselves to be open and friendly it will be a big weight off her shoulders. Remember how she must be feeling! If, say, your mum's friends came around and they just glowered at you from under their hair and kept to themselves, and she spent all her time with them and never talked to you about anything, you wouldn't like them either!
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Your 13 hunny, you want to grow up to fast! It's not good for you!
I can understand where you are coming from when you feel happy when your with your friends and your not when your with your family because I use to feel the same way!
I got into a bit of trouble about when I was your age, I hated everything, hated my life, hated everything, especially my family.. but when I was out of control and really needed someone to talk to my family were there for me! No one else.. not my friends who I thought were my friends but just my family!
You are only 13, if you want to live your own life and think you know everything about the world well i'm sorry sweety but no one is really old enough to take on the whole world.
As for your friends, if you didn't want to change and you want to have a good relationship with your mum, invite them around and make a good impression. Your mum is only looking out for you! She doesn't hate you and the things you do, she's just trying to teach you whats right from wrong.
Just think through what you really want to do in life, think about how you want your relationships with your friends and family to be then act on your decisions but DO IT THE RIGHT WAY!
Yelling and screaming and crying isn't going to solve anything... it will only create heart ache!
Your family loves you no matter what you think! You think the whole world is against you but really its not. You are against the world! Do you really want to be the person who has nothing? Who is out on the street? You may get the freedom you want but what else will you have?
Just think about this and the way you are treating you mum.
If you were to take your own life how do you think your family felt. Your parents would be heart broken to think their little girl hated life so much and they couldn't do anything to stop you because you never opened up to them. Your friends will cry i'm sure but will they be the ones to visit your grave? Will they be the ones to will cry every night for years after and will always remember you?
Probably not!
Sorry Hun but you have to look at reality now, this is your life you are playing at. It's not such a bright idea!
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