|
My boyfriend 'cheated' and i keep running back to him every
About a week a go i was on the phone with my boyfriend of 3 months ( who, by the way told me he was planning on "spending the rest of his life with me") when we started talking about serious things that were going on in our relationship. Out of no where he tells me that hes been online talking to other girls about sex, and even using his webcam to masturbate while they watched him. Along with that he wouldnt stop lying to me. At first he told me it was just one girl. the next day it was two, then three. Every little thing was a lie. When i asked him about this all he could say was "thats a problem i have, when im talking about some thing big that im nervous about i some times lie a little" Now, even though we were only together for three months i fell in love with him. The night we broke up i told him to never talk to me again and to stay out of my life. well, i was doing fine... for the next two days, until he IM'd me saying "please talk to me" and we started talking again. It hasnt even been a full week yet but ive gotten back with im like 3 times then decided to be friends, with a couple of "i hate you. leave me alone. never talk to me again" conversations. Yesterday when i went up to talk to him he said "well what do you want to do between us?" and i said "i dont know, what do you want to do?" and he said "i just want to do what ever's gonna make you happy...but i would really like to be with you" so i told him that we would try to make it work one more time and told him this was it and i wouldnt change my mind again. Then last night he calls me and says "so we're quote-unquote friends, right?" and all i could say was "i dont know" I thought i had made it clear i wanted to be with me but it seems like hes just rejecting me. Maybe i didnt make it clear enough or maybe he just doesnt want to be with me. It seems like he never really loved me all the times he said he did and that hes trying to avoid me right now. All I could see is that he's taking the breakup way better than i am. I cant get him out of my head. My friends are sick of hearing about it and they hate the fact that im with him for 45 minutes then call it quits again then get back with him the next day. I dont know what to do. Its all so confusing because Ive never felt this way before. Im 15 and hes 17 so its not like it was "meant to be" or anything like that but he truely had me believing it was just by the way he would talk about "our future" together. Everyone is telling me im a drama queen and i need to get over it, but its not that easy. He was the only person i could talk to in my life. im not close with my parents, i dont have that many friends,so i dont have 'close friends' im just too shy to go out and meet new people, so he was the best thing i had going in my life and in a way i thought hed always be there for me (because he told me he would) and i really depended on him for a lot of things. now it just seems like my whole life is falling apart and i dont know what i should do. please help me.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Wow, um i am really sorry for your situation. I think that when he said that you were just friends that he might have done something wrong again and that is why he wanted to make sure that u were just his friend so he wouldn't have to apologize. Also the age difference probably plays a big part in it. The lying to you all the time isn't fair to you and personally i dont think that it is right and i think you need to dump him. He is probably only in it for one thing and maybe if he isn't getting it then that is why he is doing what he is doing. And the whole thing with the i lie just because i get nervous thing is total B.S. You need to try to get over him and if you guys keep on fighting like that then maybe is wasn't meant to be. I hope you find the perfect guy.
Good luck
]
Ok the reason you are putting up with this is stated clearly at the bottom of your text. You dont have a lot of friends etc etc. The thing is, this relationship is no good for you. Anyone who makes a habit of lying is not really worth your time.
I have a hunch that this guy has begun to understand what he can get away with here. He is off having his fun, then when the time is right he reels you back in. Im not saying that he may or may not have deeper feelings for you, I dont know about that. But its pretty clear that what he is acting on first and foremost are his desires, not concern for you.
Your friends are probably tired of hearing about this because they cant understand why you are putting yourself through it. I know how hard it can be to fall for the wrong person, its a real hearbreaker. However, the fact of the matter is that the only way to overcome it is to not have contact with that person. There really is no other way. Its like a drug. You have to go cold turkey, the minute you take just a little bit, you are hooked again.
I know things suck right now, and there isnt anything concrete I can say to make you feel better. All I can tell you is you need a clean break. Then you need to get out there and try to make more friends. Just cause you dont have the right people in your life at the moment does not mean you need to settle for someone who hurts you.
Good luck. I hope you get over this as smoothly as possible. If it makes you feel any better (and i doubt it will), something like this will always feel worse than it actually is when you are going through it. In reality things are rarely as hopeless as they seem.
]
More Questions: |