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loving both mum and dad
hi, im 13. my dad has been living abroad and my mum and i stay together. i know my dad loves me, and deep inside i love him, but i feel like i dont know him anymore. he always treats me like im 4. its annoying. i know its wrong, but i feel like i hate my dad and love my mom more, so i feel guilty with myself. plus my mum sumtimes tells me that she regrets that jumped into their relationship. how can i stop feeling so guilty and love my dad and how can i make my mum happy?
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I understand. Every parent is like that and they can really get unreasonable and annoying at times. The thing is, whenever they nag at me, I just let it pass and I dun really let it hang on in my mind. As long as I know that what I'm doing is right, I just leave it. If they wanna nag, I let them. I just say "okokok" and then let it pass. If I did something wrong and they reprimand me for that, I'd listen to them and learn.
Sometimes, parents tend to say things like they regret getting married. When they quarrel they threaten each other with divorce, they shout, they scream, they tell their kids things like "if not for you kids i wouldnt hang on to him". All parents say that. They say that because they're going thru rough times in their marriage. Everyone says things like 'they wish they could turn back the clock' whenever they hit the rough roads. It's alright. No marriage is perfect and it's hard to maintain a relationship let alone talk bout marriage! Be a good girl and cherish your mum. Don't make her stress over you and all these will be enough to make her happy.
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If you feel guilty about those things then you obviously love your dad to some extent. It's hard for you to be close with your father because he is living abroad. I'm sure he feels the same way about you. Whenever you feel he is treating you like a baby, nicely point it out to him. Or, better yet, strike up adult conversations with him whenever you two speak. Talk about your good grades or politics. Anything really. That will make him treat you as more of an adult.
As for your mum, you cannot make her happy. You can only assure her that you love her and you won't leave her.
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