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Hi. I've seen your advice column, so I thought you could help me. I'm 16.
First of all, I'm a very fragile, fretful, sensitive person. I always question everything and worry about everything, and lately I've been worrying about and questioning my faith. I've always considered myself a Christian, but I asked myself if I truly believe that Jesus is God's son. Let me explain.
It's like if someone asks me "Are leaves green?" I would instantly reply yes, without feeling or thought. That's how I feel about Jesus. If someone asks me "Do you believe that Jesus died for your sins?", I would say yes without thought or feeling. This made me think that I don't truly believe in him, and now I'm doubting everything I once believed, and going back to believing completely 100% in Jesus is hard.
I know for certain that Moses turned a river into blood through God, but I don't know for certain about Jesus. It makes me cry because I want to believe in him very badly, but believing in something isn't a decision, it just comes to you. I know about the miracles Jesus did. I know he was born of the virgin Mary. I know he was crucified and rose from the dead. But I don't know if I BELIEVE all of this with my HEART, and that he's God. I REALLY want to, though!
Please help me out. I want to believe in Jesus so bad. I guess my fretfulness and fragileness get the best of me. :[
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Want to answer more questions in the Miscellaneous category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Spirituality?
Your heart seems full of desire to know the Lord Jesus and that is good; it is the will of the Father. There has to be some belief in your heart or you wouldn't want Jesus at all. But the worry causes doubting which is crippling your faith.
The Bible says in James 1:5&6 "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind."
You are being tossed. Keeping with the water example, it's like you're trying to run to Jesus as fast as you can through the water of fear and mistrust. Just like physically running in a swimming pool, where you get nowhere and are left tired, Spiritually running in the muck of fear and mistrust will leave you spiritually drained.
The Bible says, "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go." (Joshua 1:9) And in 2Timothy 1:7 it says, "for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control." In Psalm 27:14 it says, "Trust the LORD! Be brave and strong and trust the LORD."
So the core issues are fear, mistrust, and lack of faith, resulting in what you are experiencing.
How do you overcome these issues? You mentioned that you question everything. It's good that you question things, but you must trust the truth. The Bible is truth. It's the Word of God and you need to base everything you question on that. You may say, "It's impossible." God says, "All things are possible." (Luke 16:27) You may say, "Nobody loves me." God says, "I love you." (John 3:16 and John 13:34) You may say, "I can't do it." God says, "You can do all things through Christ." (Philippians 4:13) You may say, "It's not worth it." God says, "It will be worth it." (Romans 8:28) You may say, "I'm always worried and afraid." God says, "Cast all you cares on Me." (1 Peter 5:7) You may say, "I feel alone." God says, "I will never leave you or forsake you." (Hebrews 13:5)
Belief is a decision. You can choose to believe what God says or you can choose to doubt. You can choose to stop running in the sea of fear and mistrust and accept the life preserver Jesus want to through to you or you can choose to keep running. Jesus will meet you right where you are. Psalm 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God..."
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