|
Should I tell him?
I feel really guilty about this, and I already know that I made multiple horrible mistakes dealing with this, and doing what I did is so unlike who I really am...
I met this guy at camp last summer, and I can't explain it, this guy so didn't seem like my type, hewas younger, but we really hit it off, and the last night of camp, I lost my virginity to him. The next day, my youth leader wouldn't let us get away from our group because she didn't want to have to track us down. So I didn't get his phone number, his email address, nothing before we left.
So I get back home and everything seems to go fine, and I am about to head off to my first semester of college...and then I find out that I am pregnant. Since I didn't have any way to contact him, I knew he wouldn't be able to help me out, and so I made a really hard choice and went to a clinic, and took the pill. I feel awful about it now...it was the worst thing that I've ever done.
So I'm on facebook the other day, and a friend request came up...it was him! His high school and my college's spring breaks are at the same time, and it's too far off the way that my friends and I are going to Panama City Beach to go by his town, so I am going to see him on the way.
But I don't know if I can look him in the eye and not tell him that we would've had a child together had I not done what I did. But I don't know how he will take it if I do tell him. I remember when we were having small group discussions at our camp he said he was very pro-life because he was Catholic, even though he wasn't a practicing Catholic. I don't know what to do about it when I see him. What do you think?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
The only mistake you made was having sex with him in the first place. You definitely shouldn't have done it at camp. You probably didn't use protection. You weren't ready to deal with the consequences. All that together, well, it's just one mistake that you'll never make again. So many people make that very same mistake. It's really easy to. I think that after the mistake, you did the right thing. You handled it really well. I'm against abortions to a point, but hey, it's not like you're sleeping around or having sex just for the hell of it. You made an honest mistake and in your situation, I may have done the same exact thing. The first thing you need to do is realize that even if it does hurt, you did do the right thing. You had no way of contacting the guy, you weren't ready to be a mother at all, and you didn't want to jeopardize your future. How would you have gone to college if you'd kept the baby? It would be so hard. As would the life of your child. Growing up with a young, single mother isn't the type of life anybody wants. So, my first bit of advice is to not be so hard on yourself. You really did do the right thing. For everyone. It takes a strong person to do something like that and I have a lot of respect for you for being able to make such a decision. I think that you should see a counselor about this. It could help a lot. There are probably ones you can see for free at the health center of your college. You can really benefit from something like that. Having been through what you have is a hard thing. You're dealing with it great, but seeing a counselor could really help you get past it. When you see the guy again, don't bring all this up. Rekindle a friendship with him first. Don't let your feelings for him get you into a relationship with him too quickly. Getting to know him all over again and getting closer with him than you even were before (in a non-relationship way) will make telling him much easier. Just remember not to jump the gun. Stay in friendly contact with him and tell him in a few months. In person would be best. Sometime during the summer. Yeah, he's pro-life so who knows how he will take it, but he should know. If you tell him everything I think he will understand. It wasn't just your mistake, it was his mistake too. Even more so if he is extremely pro-life. Even if he doesn't understand, it'll feel good to get everything off your chest. You'll finally have some closure with this and be able to move on. After he knows, if he's okay with everything, and you want to, persue a relationship with him. I would be very careful about that though. Having been a camper myself and now a counselor at a camp, I've learned that most people are very different when they are at camp than they are in their lives outside of camp. At camp, you can be whoever you want to be. You can be free and fun and happy and not worry about anything. Outside of camp there are pressures. The pressure to conform, to act a certain way, to keep up a reputation. I've known the biggest jerks, creeps, and druggies to be complete sweethearts at camp. Camp just does something to you and can turn you into an entirely different person. Kind of like what happened in Grease. This guy will not be everything he was at camp. Don't expect him to be. I wish you the very best of luck and remember that no matter what happens, you are a wonderful person and you made the right decision. Nothing anybody says can change that. <3
]
More Questions: |