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Is she my responsibility?
Usually, I'm the girl who talks to the girls noone wants to talk to, I make sure no one is ever left out. And even though my friends dislike someone I'll hang out with them, cause I know I'd want someone to do the same for me, if I was the one being left out.
I just don't care if my friends like them or not, because I do.
HOWEVER, in this case, I don't like the person.
I'm in an all girls class, and everyone really dislikes this girl because.. well, we don't know. Everyone says the same thing "She's a really nice girl, and I don't wanna dislike her.. it's just that I JUST DON'T LIKE HER" There's just something about this girl that is soo annoying.
So since I usually take on the responsibility of making sure no one's left out, I did this time too. When I first got to the class, I was the one who hung out with her. But it resulted in noone hanging out with me either, even though they liked me, since they didnt like her. Which didn't bother me at all, cause I don't seek popularity. '
Except, now I really can't stand her. She talks too much, about uninteresting things, and I find myself just nodding and saying "mhhm" to everything she says. And lately EVERYTHYING she does annoys me and I find myself constantly thinking "AHH!why wont she just leave? when will i get rid of her?" and so on,..
So I've been cutting loose, walking faster when she follows me, hanging out with others, leaving her to hang out with others in other classes - and i know she senses I don't like her anymore. And I know she senses that the whole class kinda dislikes her.
So last night, was supposed to be a wonderful day with my boyfriend (2 years anniversary) but I just couldnt enjoy it! I felt soo guilty!
So what do I do? I don't enjoy this girls company at all! But people kinda expect me to "Take care of her" and would probably think of me a sa mean person if I suddenly left her all alone. Not to mention, I would constantly feel guilty! But is she really my responsibility just cause we've kinda been "best friends" for the last 2 years?
Thank you!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I don't know how any fool could say or think that you are a mean person if you chose not to hang out with this girl anymore. If you hang out with those who are left out in order to make them feel a part of something, then that makes you a pretty outstanding girl. It takes a special person to be so kind and considerate of other's feelings. Never think you are mean because you don't like some one. You can't like everyone in the world.
Honestly? You aren't her keeper. You have done right by her to the best of your abilities. If it isn't a friendship that's working out, then you are wasting her time and yours. It's ok to let her go and not feel guilty. You have done nothing wrong. In fact, you gave her a good run at a 2 year friendship; that's a good thing. She will remember you fondly always for that.
I don't know that I would go so far as to say you were best friends, however. Though I don't know you and your full friendship with her, I can tell you this much: she is not your best friend, nor are you hers if you are unhappy hanging out with her. Don't feel bad about that because it's not a bad thing. Sometimes people just don't click.
If I were in your shoes, I would just be honest with her. It's for the best. Tell her that you feel your friendship has grown apart and you feel it is time to move on. Let her know that you don't have a problem with her, but you just don't feel that it is right for you to continue to hang out like you do.
Of course, from how you sound, I don't feature you would totally shut her out or be rude to her. You sound to considerate for that foolishness. (Good for you!)
Yah, it'll hurt her feelings. I'm not going to lie to you. However, how much worse would it hurt her if she were to realize that she makes you unhappy when you hang out? Trust me, she will feel much worse knowing that you are merely pretending to have a friendship with her. Honesty is always the best policy. Don't feel bad, guilty, or be ashamed of how you honestly feel.
Most definitely of all, don't feel guilty. There is no need for that at all. You have been good to her, and you should be proud of yourself for that. There needs to be more people like you in this cruel world, so don't feel one bit guilty.
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