|
Player, trusting issues
My current boyfriend has had a bazillion girlfriends before he started settling down. I'm not usually the jealous type, so trusting him has been easy. But latley, he's been leaving picture comments (including texts too) to other girls saying "wow you're gorgeous" or "hey cutie, i miss you" which has got me suspicious. I've tried talk to him about these, but naturally its no big deal to him.
Well, one of the girls he's beens flirting with, is going on a trip to Europe with him for some organization. Its kind of got me worried, how do I know when he's gone too far with all of this?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
if you really like him then you should be able to trust him if you cant tust him then maybe yolu arent right for eachother...
<3Toree
]
I'd be concerned if I were you, but I'd also give him the benefit of the doubt.
He has a flirtatious nature, that's for sure. This doesn't necessarily mean that he's a cheater, but there is the chance that a girl will respond to him and he won't be able to resist temptation. Now he will be in a position where he'll be alone with someone for a while, overseas, with the knowledge that if anything happens between them he probably won't get caught. He should understand that this is not the sort of thing that is going to make you sleep easily at night.
I don't think you would be out of line to ask for him to make a solemn promise to the effect that he will remain faithful. It might help if you tell him that you do trust him, but you don't trust the woman he's going with to keep her hands to herself, and you know that it would be only human for him to succumb to a moment of weakness.
Also, give him an "out" - tell him that if he doesn't think he can control himself, then he needs to break up with you now, not after the fact. This will make it so he can't say that you "gave him no choice" or some such nonsense.
Give him something symbolic to take with him - a picture of the two of you, or a ring that you wear, even a lock of your own hair, to remind him of who waits for him back home. This will make a real impact on him - guys are affected by symbolic objects.
He may laugh it off or say that you're being melodramatic or needlessly jealous. You need to calmly explain to him that this is important to you and that if he won't take it seriously, it only makes you more uncomfortable. No matter what, don't let him leave without specifically promising you that he will not stray.
And if he gets home and it turns out he couldn't keep his fly zipped... show no mercy.
]
you should trust him unless he starts acting wierd then you must start asking questions and if he leaves you just go out and find someone else that will treat you better every girl can be better off with out a guy but still you should trust him first
]
More Questions: |