|
My boyfriend is not a virgin, but I am.
Okay so I am with this guy now I am madly inlove with. He loves me back, too. More than anyone or anything in the world. We have both never loved anyone before eachother. He is absolutly perfect. Except..... He's had sex with two other girls before. This absolutly tears me apart. We're supposed to be moving in together in a few years then we talk about being together for the rest of our lives, but I can't help but think how I'll never know what it's like to loose my virginity to a virgin as well...
He in no way what-so-ever loved either one of his past sexual partners. One was even a one night stand.
I have been thinking about this all so much lately, not that I am going to have sex with him any time soon, but I just can't stop worrying and feeling sad about this whole thing. I mean, I'll be his number THREE. :(
Should I be feeling this sad and bothered by this whole thing? What should I do? I feel stuck.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
It's understandable that you would feel this way, and it's okay to feel sad and worried. It might be helpful if you think about WHY you feel sad, anxious, or worried - what specifically about this situation bothers you? Sometimes understanding what motivates us can help us deal with our feelings.
You may also want to take a step back for a moment and look at the reality of the situation. Your boyfriend isn't a virgin, and there's no way he can go back in time to erase his past experiences (even if he wanted to!).
It's important to realise that sex is always new and always different with every partner. This means that his experience of sex with you is likely to be very different than with his other partners - especially as there are deep feelings involved. While you won't be losing your virginity to a virgin, you will still be creating a totally new experience with your boyfriend.
Of course, your other option is to end the relationship in favour of finding a virgin. Of course, there are no guarantees you'd find one that also matched the other qualities you want in a guy - but if it's that important to you, don't compromise. If this guy's only real 'flaw' is not being a virgin, well, none of us are perfect.
Why not have a conversation with him about your feelings, as he may be able to offer you much more reassurance and insight than I can. I wish you the very best.
]
More Questions: |