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don't know what to do about..anything
This is mostly about my boyfriend, 21. I'm 18.
He says he's there whenever I need him and whenever I need to talk about things or vent but I'm not so sure.
See, my father passed Wed. night/Thurs morning and when he first found out about it he was so supposrtive and flew here to just be here and help with everything (he was at a confrence or something).
Well last night we were talking and I started thinking about my dad and everything in the middle of a happy conversation with him. I said, "I can't believe my dads not going to be there at prom or graduation or when I get married" He didn't say anything for a sec then was like, "I really wish you didn't just say that"
I know we were having a good, happy convo but shouldn't he be able to listen to me when I need to talk about it?
I apologized for bringing him down and he responded with, "Its okay...I guess"
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i think he said that because he cares so much about you and doesn't want you to think too much about it and be sad. yes, he should be able to listen to you, but he was happy that you were happy when you two were having that conversation. and that's why it made him sad when you started talking about your dad; because he knew that it made you sad. of course, guys are just weird anyway. but i really think that's what your boyfriend meant.
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Ok, first off. Don't freak out! Guys will be guys! He may not have seemed to care at that moment when he said that, but he does care. If he didn't, he wouldn't have come to your side. I think he is doing his best at the moment.
The reason he prolly reacted the way that he did, was because it's prolly hard on him right now. He wants to be with you, but maybe he don't know how? I am not sure. But, he obviously cares. You don't want to mess things up with him by making too big of a deal about this. He DOES care.
I hope you will take what I had to say into consideration. Have a good night! Try to relax. Best of luck with your situation and I am sorry to hear about your father. Let me know if you need anything!
<3 Heidi Marie
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I think he realized how much this is affecting both of your lives. A lot of guys don't know how to handle the situation when a girl is sad, especially when they're very close to them. He doesn't want to see you upset. Since you were just having a happy conversation, he was probably relieved that you were both in a better mood.
I think he's just doing the best anybody could, under the circumstances.
I'm terribly sorry for your loss. I can imagine it's a difficuly and stressful time for everyone. :(
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for starters, i'm so sorry about your dad. i'm sure you're going through a lot right now, and i can see why you said what you did, an event like that would occupy all of my thoughts.
i'm not sure exactly what your question is, but i think i know what you're looking for. were you right or was he right? if so, here's the answer:
your perspective- there was a tragic loss, you think about him a lot, you know it probably wan't the best thing to bring up during a happy conversation, but you can't help it because you're so upset.
his perspective- he flew down here and has been seeing people crying for a long time. he finally feels like he's going to have a happy conversation with you and that you're starting to be in a better mood, then you say something sad again, and he knows that it will start more sad conversations.
my opinion- you couldn't help but say that, because it's a pretty recent thing and sometimes you think outloud, everyone does. i don't think you were at fault there, and i think that he shouldn't have said "i really wish you didn't say that", even if it was what he was thinking. it was a tender subject for you, and he should have been sensitive to that even if he's sick of all the sad conversations, it's not about him. i can see why he would have thought that, but saying it outloud was totally out of line..and his response to your apology was kind of irritating too. i think he's coping with this as best as he can, but you did everything totally right. don't worry about this, okay?? everything will turn out fine....don't let your guy go, he seems great. he could have handled the situation better, but i'm sure he felt bad about the whole situation.
hope i helped,
Jen
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