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humorist-workshop

should i rat her out? please help!


Question Posted Saturday February 17 2007, 3:40 pm

ok, well i have a friend who ive been bringing to the mall for a while now, and recently she has been hooking up with some guy there, and her parents deffinitly wouldnt approve of this. well, this girl's father has seen pictures of this boy, my friend, and i, and have found conversations this guy and my friend have had online together and she is pretty much figured out. from when she first started meeting up with this guy i wasnt to sure of it, and i didnt want to have any part of it, but she would guilt me and con me into taking her to the mall. well last night, she guilted me into taking her once again, and her father called my mom wondering where she was, cause she didnt even ask to go to the mall, she just left, and her dad didnt even know we got dropped off at the mall unsupervised, and he also said that he found out that she has been hooking up with a boy there (from the online convos), so my mom is questioning me if i am there with boys and i told her no, because 1.im not meeting up with anyone, its just her and 2.i wanted to be a good friend and cover it up so my friend who is meeting up with them wouldnt get in trouble. but now my parents are loosing trust in me and saying that i cant go anywhere unsuperised and im starting to hate my friend for dragging me into her problems, and im not sure if i should rat her out. im leaning towards telling my parents what shes been doing because shes been a horrible friend to me saying that she misses me and shell hang out with me at the mall and she goes and meets up with this kid instead. so, should i rat her out or not, and if i do, what should i say to my parents. sorry for this being so long and confusing, but it seriously is a long, and confusing story, so i really need to be able to straigten everything out to tell my parents.

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yourrtrustyhelpline answered Saturday February 17 2007, 5:40 pm:
you should do the right thing. tell your parents. its not your fault, and she shouldn`t be the reason that your life is ruined. plus, it sounds like she`s just using you, so theres no point in lying for her.

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Jaziel91 answered Saturday February 17 2007, 5:24 pm:
you could do the right thing and just confess everything to your parents or you could work on gaining their trust back, as for your friend if she really valued your friendship she wouldn't have drag u into this mess in the first place. i think you need to rethink your relationship with her.

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Brandi_S answered Saturday February 17 2007, 5:23 pm:
My advice? Stop letting her guilt you into doing anything you don't feel comfortable doing. See where that gets you? Now, because of this, your parents mistrust you.

I wouldn't rat her out to her parents, but if I were you I would tell my own parents what's going on. What do you tell them? The truth. Plain and simple. They need to know the facts of the situation, so they know where it is, exactly, you stand in the whole thing.

As for hating your friend for all of this? Don't. She didn't break your arm to make you go along with this. You LET her guilt you into going along. You CHOSE to help her cover up her mess. You ALLOWED yourself to be drug into her problems. Don't be angry and hateful to her for the choices YOU made.

Just know better next time not to put yourself into that situation, guilt or no guilt; pressure or no pressure; friend or no friend.

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juicyloverxo12 answered Saturday February 17 2007, 5:15 pm:
I know this isn't really what you want to hear, but your friend may be causing you to get into trouble.

I understand this is a problem because you wouldn't want to lose your friend over this, and that may just happen if you tell unfortunatly, because your friend will feel hurt, and betrayed because she trusted you.

You don't have to tell your parents, but if you don't want to be a part of this, you are going to have to tell your friend to find someone else to go to the mall with to see the boy. And if you feel its unsafe for her, you should try to talk her out of it, no matter how guilty she makes you feel--since you've been bringing her because you felt guilty, she thinks she will be able to do it all the time to go to the mall with you. You have to try to not feel guilty when she does that, because then she will know it won't work, and she wont ask you anymore--but she might try to find new ways, so be careful.

If you decide to tell your parents, make sure not to get them when they are rushing out the door, or when they just got home, or maybe if they were just arguing with someone..catch them in a good mood, and tell them from there. Begin with something like, "Hey mom.. can I talk to you? You know how my friend's dad called about the mall? Well.." just begin from there. I can't guarantee your parents wont get mad though, they probably will, but if you decide to keep this from them they will lose trust in you all together. Telling them the truth, well, they will still lose trust, but they will be able to trust you again soon.

I'm sorry if this was confusing, or not the best advice. If you need more specific help with this I'd be more than glad to help, so just send me a message to my inbox. Good luck

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